“Meddlesome” is among one of the more G-rated things I’ve been called in EvE. “Trouble-maker”, “instigator” “pirate” (really?), these are all somewhat lighter fare than the more cringe-worthy “motherf*cking piece of sh*t” “asshole” (inclusive of all derivatives and conjugations), “f*ck-stick”, “homosexually-inclined phallus consier” … it just goes on like this actually. But today it was “meddlesome”, and I kind of took a shine to it.
There’s a saying about “pitting your enemies against each other” that would sound a lot more eloquent if I could remember it correctly. The idea is, get the two guys who are after you to fight each other instead and you’ve just killed two birds with one stone (egads, making one idiom into another!).
Today I was in Vittenyn with Scopique, and after burning a Megathron (and the two subsequent “just coming back to get my loot” bestowers), we tried playing some can games with some members of the Cut Throats and Wise Guys corp. Realizing they weren’t going to play, Scop went afk for a bit, and I went to dock up and get some RL work done as well.
Docking at the station however, I realized that the reason the Wise Guys weren’t playing was that they were busy camping the station like a girl-scout troop. Hooray for carebear station games! I convoed one of the guys we’d been messing around with before and discovered they were currently at war and had the “bad guys” “camped in goodLOL”. Right. Suddenly I realized how it is I knew these guys; their corp used to be in the now defunct (and former TEARS arch-nemesis) deadspace society. . Gears began turning.
I docked up and struck up another convo with one of the Wise Guys’ war targets. Huzzah! I knew these guys too! E-honor waving, anti-pirates who I’d can flipped on numerous occasions before. NOW this was becoming a party!
Really for no reason other than the perpetration of chaos and hilarity, I decided to tell the war targets I’d be happy to give outside station intel to help them break up the Wise Guys’ station camp (and I would, messing with ex-DEADS? Sure!). What I didn’t mention is that I was also giving the Wise Guys intel on what to expect these guys to undock in.
I set both sides to different colors and undocked to watch the fireworks go off around me:
Silly carebears and their silly station games. I went around cackling like a kid in a candy store, cherry-picking shiney goodies out of every wreck, docking up, emptying cargo, undocking again, rinse and repeat. 7 minutes and 75mil isk in goodies later, the smoke cleared, and both sides thanked me profusely for my help. Wait, what? Yes, thanked me. I was added to multiple address books for “future help”, and both sides declared a resounding victory despite I think just about everyone except the Nighthawk dying horribly.
Speaking of station games: apparently the CSM is kicking ass in their elected roles and has put forth a measure to CCP which would pretty much put an end to ridiculous station warfare. In addition to *finally* being able to look out a station window (so to speak) and see who’s camping you in what, warp-scrammed ships would not be able to simply disengage and dock up when the going gets rough. Win. The full CSM summit notes can be found ->here<- (PDF form) and I highly recommend reading the full thing.