No, not me (but don’t you love sensationalist headlines? ). This guy.
Some people really take this game a little too seriously. Sure, we’ve all had our moments, but there are some individuals who play this game blindly ignoring its MULTI-player component, as well as putting it in a position of importance in their real lives that I’m not really sure is healthy. Consequently, it also sets them up to fail horribly.
I found Hankellin in Laah, home of macro-missioning CNRs, skittish miners, and trigger-happy mission bears. Growing weary of Hank’s anti-ninja strategy of not killing any rats and repeatedly warping out of his mission, I took matters into my own hands and popped one of his npc frigates with my drone so I could get some loot aggro. I could see Hank on d-scan back in the first room of the mission, so newly flashy red, I warped to a planet and then back to the mission, landing right next to Hank’s Raven.
Poor Hank just couldn’t help himself and immediately started shooting me. Unfortunately for Hank however, I’d come prepared this time with a scram and some pew. I locked Hank up and began unfolding the usual and inevitable story, until I was convoed and had what turned out to be a truly stunning conversation:
Aiden Mourn > Howdy
Hankellin > having fun?
Aiden Mourn > I am!
Aiden Mourn > you?
Aiden Mourn > I wouldn’t bother for the gate
Aiden Mourn > you’re scrammed
Aiden Mourn > you cant jump it
Aiden Mourn > but, I like where your heads at!
Hankellin > Just headed that way…
Hankellin > takes forever to get there…
Aiden Mourn > i know!
Hank tries the gate anyways
Aiden Mourn > see
Aiden Mourn > told ya
Hankellin > So what are we going to do?
Aiden Mourn > i think you know where this is going
Aiden Mourn > im a business man
Aiden Mourn > of sorts
Realizing I wasn’t going to crack Hank’s tank, I started the process of bringing in an orca with bigger pew. I also decided to keep him occupied so he wouldn’t notice the orca slow-boating towards us from 60km out and get any crazy ideas about pre-aligning or anything.
Hankellin > Yay?
Aiden Mourn > how much is your ship worth?
Aiden Mourn > cause I can sit here til downtime, or until you log
Aiden Mourn > and at the point, your mods turn off, and i kill you faster
Aiden Mourn > but I think both of those are a ways off
Aiden Mourn > so lets make some sense here
Hankellin > what is your offer?
Aiden Mourn > whats yours
Aiden Mourn > comon man, lets haggle!
Hankellin > you go yours I go mine…
Aiden Mourn > ok ffs
Aiden Mourn > 100mil
Hankellin > and if I do not have it?
Aiden Mourn > thats a shitty haggle
Hankellin > I have 4 mil in my wallet.
Aiden Mourn > I seriously doubt that
Hankellin > I am trying to get the isk for a plex
Aiden Mourn > no one has 4mil
Aiden Mourn > when youre like a week old toon you have more than 4 mil
Hankellin > I keep spneding it on shiny stuff.
Hankellin > LOL
Aiden Mourn > it happens
Hankellin > this sub is inactive in 5 days
Aiden Mourn > how much have you got saved for a plex?
Hankellin > 50mil so far, hoping I can borrow the rest
Trapped in your own lies!
Aiden Mourn > woops, gotcha
Aiden Mourn > sounds like more than 4 mil to me
Aiden Mourn > roughly 46mil more really
Hankellin > true.. but I did say MY wallet.
I though at this point Hank had GOT to be stalling for reinforcements, but none seemed to be coming. Meanwhile, the orca continued is absurdly slow approach.
Aiden Mourn > well, whos piggy bank then
Hankellin > Corps.
Aiden Mourn > i’d get talking then
Aiden Mourn > about taking out a loan
Hankellin > and what syas you would not do this again as soon as I paid?
Aiden Mourn > if you paid, you’d go free
It’d been a while since I tried for a ransom, and I figured it would save me the effort of trying to hot swap ships without him bugging out.
Aiden Mourn > ive got shit to do myself here
Hankellin > thought you said all night til reset?
Aiden Mourn > meh, call us both liars
Aiden Mourn > the things I have to do involve watching movies on my other screen
Aiden Mourn > so…..
Hankellin > LOL…
Hankellin > I think I may just pay for that laugh…
Aiden Mourn > =D
Aiden Mourn > talking to that corp of yours yet?
Hankellin > would 75mil be good enough.
Aiden Mourn > hmmm
Aiden Mourn > thats like the cost of the hull
Aiden Mourn > im assuming you FIT your raven too, right?
There’s a lot to be said concerning ninjas and high-sec ransoms, which is probably food for another post altogether. To be brief, the official SN policy on ransoms is that there IS no policy; to each his own. Personally, if I find the bear in question to be a reasonable, non-douche of a pilot, I’ll honor the ransom. Conversely, acting like a bratty child, hurling insults my way, trying to stall for time, or trying to send less than agreed-upon amounts is a great way to get yourself blown up quickly.
Aiden Mourn > there are mods on that thing?
Hankellin > yes, sure are…
Aiden Mourn > nice ones?
Hankellin > or you would have popped me in one shot.
Aiden Mourn > well
Aiden Mourn > then the price is 100
Aiden Mourn > sorry
At long last, the orca was finally in range. I crossed my fingers and switched to a Hurricane. Luckily, Hank had not had the foresight to align or spam warp, so my lock and point resolved without a hitch.
Hankellin > not that nice.
Hankellin > I have gotten the corp to agree to 85mil
Aiden Mourn > thatll do
Aiden Mourn > youll notice i upgraded
Hankellin > cool
Hankellin > stopp shotting or it won’t matter
Aiden Mourn > 85 sounds nice
Aiden Mourn > quickly now sir
Aiden Mourn > and no repping while youre at it
Aiden Mourn > thats against the rules
Aiden Mourn > you have 20 seconds to give me 85mil
Aiden Mourn > if you need it spelled out
Hankellin > should be transfered now….
Aiden Mourn > I’m not seeing it
Ahhh the old “sure, I’ll pay” stall. Bad move.
Aiden Mourn > now is really a terrible time to be bluffing by the way
Hankellin > and you gonn kill me anyway….
About a minute after I said “20 seconds”, my wallet literally blinked as Hank’s Raven become one with the universe.
Hankellin > it was sent…. and you killed me any way….
Hankellin > Thanks….
Hankellin > told you to give me a minute it had to go through two transfers…
Aiden Mourn > Well, thats also time for backup to arrive
Hankellin > Oh well, good thng I am not paying for the game so far….
Aiden Mourn > indeed
Aiden Mourn > Well, keep on fighting the good fight sir
Hankellin > So now not only am I out 85 mil, which I did NOT have of my own.. I am now out my ship too
Aiden Mourn > It would appear that way, yes
Aiden Mourn > But!
Aiden Mourn > you are one eve-lesson richer!
Hankellin > LOL….
Aiden Mourn > possibly more if you put your mind to it!
Aiden Mourn > P.s. you’re right, not THAT nice mods at all
Suddenly, my wallet flashed again.
Hankellin > there is your other 15 mil..
Aiden Mourn > lol, whats that for?
Hankellin > humor….
Hankellin > I enjoy a laugh.
Aiden Mourn > As I enjoy charitable donations
Aiden Mourn > well better luck next time sir
The appropriate thing to here would be walk away, tail between your legs. Hank wasn’t through yet though, and my wallet blinked a third time with a new, tax-free donation of 100 million isk, courtesy of my new friend Hank.
Hankellin > as a matter of fact….
Hankellin > There, I am done playing…..
Aiden Mourn > oh you’re kidding me
Hankellin > Nope.. I may come back for the 5 day freebiees
Hankellin > but I am done with this game….
Aiden Mourn > I see
Aiden Mourn > you dont think thats a tad on the dramatic side?
Hankellin > Like I said my sub runs out in 5 days…
Aiden Mourn > And it takes all of 14 us dollars to get it going again
Aiden Mourn > I bet you can FIND $14 if you set your mind to it
Aiden Mourn > I’d check the couch cushions
I really do hate to see people quit this game. Even silly people. Without silly people, what am I supposed to do with my time?
Hankellin > but you just reminded me why I quit playing for 3 years.
Aiden Mourn > Because you make bad decisions?
Hankellin > It gets boring quickly if you do not have the isk,
Aiden Mourn > why do you think I do what I do?
Aiden Mourn > I havent run a mission in almost 2 years
Aiden Mourn > its the grind
Aiden Mourn > real life is for the grind, this is supposed to be a game
Aiden Mourn > have fun
Hankellin > you too
Hankellin > take care…
Hankellin > It is way past my bed time…. anyway.
Aiden Mourn > Likewise
Hankellin > <42 year old and still has a bed time
Aiden Mourn > Well, like I said, real life is the grind
Aiden Mourn > this is merely a game
Aiden Mourn > In the real world, I bet you can I could have a beer and watch a football game
Aiden Mourn > here, i beat you at internet spaceships
Aiden Mourn > a games a game, try to enjoy it
Aiden Mourn > you know, just make better choices next time
Hankellin > I don’t drink beer, but I would toast you a glass of wine
Aiden Mourn > well now we’re talking
Aiden Mourn > on that note, im grabbing a last one and heading to bed
Aiden Mourn > pleasure talking to you sir
Hankellin > see ya..
Aiden Mourn > you fly safe now
Hankellin > just wish you had held your fire a bit longer…
Hankellin > LOL
Ladies and gentleman, there’s a lesson to be learned here. Actually, there’s probably a few of them. Take your pick of the “consequences to your actions” one, “don’t fly what you can’t afford to lose”, “Eve is a harsh place”, or perhaps the ever-popular “bad things happen when you shoot at ninjas”. Whichever way you look at it though, there were ways to avoid the overly-dramatic and finalizing outcome of quitting a game just because you got beaten. I’m sure I’ve hammered it to death on here, but I play with a cardinal idea in mind that Eve is a GAME; you start looking at it and thinking about it as more than that it you’ll lose sight of that fun-factor pretty quickly.
Thinking about that though, it is just a game, so I suppose quitting should you feel like the fun has gone is entirely your right and resolve. That said, re-evaluating the level of seriousness you place on fun might be worth looking into though.