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Where to start? This being my first foray into the world of self-aggrandizing, DIY publication (read: blogging), I suddenly find it ironic that having finally assembled my virtual soap-box, I’m at a loss for words.

Hmm….

To begin with: I am a Ninja. A member, to be specific, of Suddenly Ninjas; that arrogant and devious collection of thieves, looters, miscreants and self-proclaimed @ssholes (is swearing allowed on podlogs?) that call New Eden home. Most of you refer to them as (and I quote) “mothreF*CKING THIEFFS!”, “douchebags”, “pussies”, “f*ggots”, “low-lifes”, “buttnuggets” and a varied assortment of other barely-adolescent-level insults. Personally, I call them corp-mates, colleagues, teachers, and friends, and they are the finest group of gentleman I’ve ever flown with. I’ve been playing Eve for 11 months now and the latter 7 1/2 of those that I’ve spent in SN have been a) awesome, b) hilarious, c) epic, and 4) All of the above. Eve is a sandbox, and we are the meddlesome toddlers who take your favorite batman action-figure when you’re not looking. We are Dennis The Menace, Calvin & Hobbs, MacGuyver, and a dash of Frank Sinatra all mixed together. Are we pirates? Griefers? Bullies? RPrs? The answer is sort of, not really, kinda, and absolutely not (In that order). To put it simply: carebear tears fuel our ships. Let me just say that again:

Carebear tears fuel our ships.

That’s really essentially it. We’re in this primarily for the laughs, and if we can make some iskies doing it, well who are we to turn down a free lunch?

So maybe you’re still scratching your head. You’ve heard of us, probably (/me strokes epeen…), but you’re still not sure what it is we do. Well here it is. We scan down other players running missions (something we tend to avoid like Linda Kasabian avoids “family” reunions, if you know what I mean). We then enter that player’s mission space and proceed to salvage the npc wrecks that we find cluttering up the space. If we’re feeling particularly greedy or sneaky, we take the loot from those wrecks as well. While yes, this does result in some material profit (again, we do like us some free lunches!) the main idea is incite and enrage the mission runner. Usually this results in a combination of poorly spelled insults, threats, pleas, whines, and self-destroying aggression that we very fondly refer to as tears.

So where does that bring us now? Tbh, I have no idea…I sort of got lost at the “free lunches” part. But, stay tuned for continuous hilarious escapades and wacky hyjinx.

Remember, if its floating in space, we’ll probably find it. And if its worth stealing, we probably will.

o7

-Aiden

~ by Aiden Mourn on September 18, 2009.