"But the keys were in the ignition!" Orca Theft pt. 2

So I’ve been eve-mailing back and forth with the original owner of the Orca, a certain Jackal Lord, with the intent to fake-ransom the ship (minus the ships and loot inside) back to him for a small *cough* “finders fee”. My attempts have been met with scorn, lorded moral superiority, finger-shaking in my direction, and other furry and annoyingly common examples of rampant carebearishness. With no reply to my last message, I’ll be putting the Orca on auction in the next 24 hrs (starting asking price is 1 billion isk if there’s any takers out there…save 171 mil!). I would also however, like to continue messing with him for as long as possible 😉 . Here’s the exchange thus far:

To: Jackal Lord
From: Aiden Mourn
Subject: Your Orca

Dear Sir,
I regret to inform you that due to either mechanical error or perhaps just personal negligence, I am now the new owner of your Orca. This does include all the ships, fittings, and faction loot inside. A rough tally puts the total haul at about 1.2 billion isk, making this a somewhat pricey lesson in what happens when you leave your toys out in space.
However, I am not an altogether unreasonable man, nor am I without honor. And personally, I have absolutely no use for an orca. To this end, I am willing to make a deal with you. For the price of 500 million isk, I will return the fully rigged and fitted orca to you, minus of course cargo inside. This is the total cost of the orca (roughly 400mil) plus the rigs and fitting (roughly 100mil). The loot and ships I’m afraid I must keep as a finders fee. Please contact me as soon as possible regarding this matter, although please note the price is non negotiable.

Regards,
-Aiden Mourn

—–
To: Aiden Mourn
From: Jackal Lord
Subject: Re: Your Orca

2009.10.15 08:44
Kind Sir –
The good fortune you have experienced is due to an internet outage that i unfortunately had no opportunity to avoid. I am appreciative of your offer to reunite me with my (formerly well stocked) orca, and will take you up on the offer. Please create the contract and i will accept it.

Jackal Lord

—–
To: Jackal Lord
From: Aiden Mourn
Subject: Re: Re: Your Orca

Dear Sir,
I am faced with a dilema. You see, I am a thief and to a somewhat lesser degree, a prirate. And it is in partaking in these activities that I primarily make my living in Eve. I was about to contract the Orca to you for the agreed upon 500 million, when I realized I had overlooked the fact that the cargohold optimization rigs on it were of the tech 2 variety. Realizing that the rigs are worth more around 345 mil each makes the disputed orca worth considerably more that the original 500 mil, and now you see where my dilema lies. Athough I don’t particularly -want- to deal with the headache of putting this up for auction, I’ve calculated the worth of the ship plus rigs and fittings at 1.5 billion isk. Again, I’ve no use for an orca myself, so I’m hoping we can come up with a new understanding here.

Regards,
-Aiden Mourn

—–
To: Aiden Mourn
From: Jackal Lord
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Your Orca

2009.10.15 20:35
Sigh… i am saddened that faction fittings and free ships could not slake your greed.  From your first message :

The loot and ships I’m afraid I must keep as a finders fee. Please contact me as soon as possible regarding this matter, although please note the price is non negotiable.

“non negotiable”. your words.

i understand that preying on the weak is a valid way to live life, and if you really enjoy bending me over for some fun, i guess there’s little i can do to stop you. i borrowed enough to pay you the 500m you said was non negotiable. If you choose to not honor your word, that is your perogative.

Jackal Lord

—–
To: Jackal Lord
From: Aiden Mourn
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Orca

Sir, “greed” has nothing to do with it, and I am at best insulted that you take it that way. As I said before, this is how I make a living in Eve. If you’d like to start throwing around the term “bending over”, we could discuss the fact that you were more than willing to keep quiet and pay 500 mil for ship that you knew was worth three times that. And the fact that said ship was once yours is irrelevant. Should you choose to categorize yourself as “weak” that is -your- perogative, but I see nothing predatory about our situation. I found a very expensive unpiloted ship in space which I viewed as an opportunity. If I hadn’t taken it, someone else probably would have. “Non-negotiable” meant “YOU may not negotiate”. Seeing as I have all the cards, the power to negotiate rests with me.

-Aiden Mourn

P.s. I might add that I find it slightly incredulous that a man flying a 1.5bil ship with another 1.3bil in cargo needs to “borrow” 500mil from anyone.

—–
To: Aiden Mourn
From: Jackal Lord
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Orca

2009.10.15 21:59
Sir – i beg to differ. And i call into question your math – an orca can be had for 383m in dodi, and a cargo opti2 (look carefully, there is but one) for 355m. And contrary to your claim to be “somewhat” honorable, i see no honor in your failure to honor your word. Your word, the one thing nobody can take from you, only you can throw it away.
So, as to your being offended by my insinuation, it describes perfectly the scenrio from my perspective. I didn’t intentionally leave an orca to be found.. i stepped into a catalyst to salvage and had a multi hour internet disconnection.
I am willing to pay your 500m ransom, but to suggest that i was misleading you as to the orca’s worth is a fanciful justification at best.

Jackal Lord

—–
To: Jackal Lord
From: Aiden Mourn
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Orca

You call into question my math? My good sir, you have indeed crossed a line (also, I’m right: 383m + 355m + 355m + 355m + 25m (‘Copasetic’ I Partical Field Acceleration) = 1,473,000,000). I also find it disturbing that you are refusing to acknowledge your own fault in these proceedings.

“I didn’t intentionally leave an orca to be found.. i stepped into a catalyst to salvage and had a multi hour internet disconnection.”

To that I say “potatoes, potahtoes” sir. Disconnect or not, you left 2.8 billion isk floating unmanned in space. And I repeat, if I hadn’t have taken it, rest assured someone else would have. The difference is, -I- am giving you an opportunity to, shall we say, haggle, for the price of getting your ship back. You can attack my “honor” with your e-bushido to your hearts content, but I warn that should I tire of that, I will put this ship on contracted auction, and wish you the best of luck with your bid. Good day sir.

-Aiden Mourn

—–
To: Aiden Mourn
From: Jackal Lord
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Orca

2009.10.16 00:12
HUH ? The ship i lost had 1 t2 cargo opti and 2 t1 optis.

—–
To: Jackal Lord
From: Aiden Mourn
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your Orca

Upon closer inspection, it appears we are both wrong. The ship is rigged with one t1 opti and two t2 optis. This puts the total cost of the ship at 1,173,210,000 isk. You have 24 hours to give me a decent offer or this is going to auction. I have bills to pay.

Regards,
-Aiden Mourn

———-

o7,
-Aiden

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~ by Aiden Mourn on October 15, 2009.

2 Responses to “"But the keys were in the ignition!" Orca Theft pt. 2”

  1. Again, my hero.

    We need to see more of this! I want to know what happens!

  2. […] in the infancy of this blog, I documented this here, here and here way back in 2009, but as a quick round-up: I basically scanned down an Orca in a safe […]

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