The Sandbox Preservation Party: Logit Probit for CSM4

Logit Probit for CSM4

I’m what you might call “politically active” in RL. Probably more-so than most people actually. I ran a Boston-based call center for the Obama campaign (“oh shit a liberal ninja, now we’re all f*cked!”), I’ve gone to rallies in D.C. for veteran’s rights (got family stationed in Iraq), and I donate regularly to Amnesty International and Save the Music. This is funny considering that when it comes to Eve, I’ve been entirely non-political, giving things like the CSM elections a cursory glance at best. I’m sort of a “highlights reel” kind of guy in that regard, I only pay attention when something jumps out at me (Tchell Dahhn for CSM ‘o8!). However, for some reason this election, as my friend Cyberin put it, “I actually AM interested in the CSM this year”.

Looking at the list of candidates is somewhat depressing at first glance. Of the 49, fully 1/2 of them have either nothing written supporting their candidacy, or a pathetic 1-liner generally stating something like “I love Eve so u shuld vote 4 me!”. Actually, lets take a look at one of the more utterly lame and totally non-committal platforms of one of the candidates:

“I’d like to make Eve a better experience for all of us no matter where you play or how you spend your time in-game. Vote for me and I’ll represent you, whoever you are.”

– Helen Highwater, a.k.a Iain Compton

Dear Helen, please grow a spine and figure out something to stand for and we’ll see you next year. Its almost like the assumption is that his competition’s platform will be “I HATE Eve and want to make it a crappier experience for everyone involved”. Pass; next.

“In tangingle terms I am strongly in favor of emergent or dynamic mission structures, detailed and highly diversified ship crews, radically in favor of ambulation (as well as adding in-game content and options inside the context of ambulation), diversified subscription systems, a lot more in terms of investment potential, interactivity between players outside of ship combat (for instance : political struggles, espionage, covert ops, sabotage, infiltration, NPC followers, real estate), adding a lot more objects and structures in space, opening literally anything for access to ambulation, making systems more plausible in terms of current astronomical understanding (and still increasing graphic depiction and exciting scenery), create “A-Life” type expansion dynamics in NPC factions, allow players to hire NPC’s to do mining, expand eve into new platform or interfaces.”

-Daugar Draaken, a.k.a Ruud Dirven

PERIODS. LEARN THEM. USE THEM. Also, I’m curious as to what exactly is tangible about a platform that calls for redesigning the ENTIRE GAME from the ground up. Don’t get me wrong, some of that actually sounds cool, but lets drop the big-word thesaurus for a second and actually think of some ideas that could relevantly benefit the player-base at large in the current manifestation of the game. Here’s a couple more that fall into the “you fail” category:

“Do you ever dream about the former glory days of EVE when space was vast and unknown? Do you ever feel like EVE is just mIRC with 3D enviroment? If you do, vote me, Admiral IceBlock, the only independent candidate AFAIK. But shit, what do I know?”

-Admiral IceBlock, a.k.a. Alf Jaran Karlsen

Good fucking question IceBlock. I actually asked the same thing when I read this crap.

“Trust me, I’m an expert.”

-Mrs Trzzbk, a.k.a. Asher Dratel

“No, I wont. And no, you’re not.”

Pretty much all of the remaining 25 that DO have something to say about actual issues of concern, redundantly revolve around 3 basic ideas: “make mission running safer and easier”, “make mining safer and easier”, or “make pirating easier” (1/2 props to the pirates for not whining to make their trade “safer” =/ ).

However, there’s one candidate that stood out as someone of substance with something to say that that struck a chord in me; Logit Probit, a.k.a Joseph Cera. From his webpage:

“The ‘sandbox’ nature of EvE is what makes the game fun, and I’ll work to preserve a minimalist ruleset at every opportunity. I will represent the voices of highsec pirates, ninja-salvagers, industrial gankers, miner killers. These groups have never been adequately represented on CSMs, which have been dominated by 0.0-types, lowsec pirates, industrial/market types, and PvE carebears. Those of us that participate in “criminal” activities in high security space know that every time CCP buffs CONCORD or lowers the learning curve in response to whining and pressure the carebears, EvE loses a little bit of what makes it unique and awesome.”

Someone buy this man a beer. This guy “gets it”, and I fully intend to throw my vote behind him. I know what it looks like: “a ninja salvaging griefer voting for a ninja salvaging griefer…wow, never saw that coming”. But in all honesty, Probit’s choice of profession hasn’t got a lot to do with my decision to vote for him. Hell, he could honestly be a full-time mission runner and I’d still vote for him because of his unabashed outlook on the game, which is that the WHOLE POINT of it is that you can do almost literally anything you want. And yes, this includes both sides of the line. You can run missions or attack asteroids with lasers to your hearts content, OR you can gank and steal from said missioners and miners if thats what you want to do. The unique nature of Eve’s sandbox structure is EXACTLY what makes this game so amazing

Yet candidate after candidate wants to legitimize their own carebearish laziness by getting a seat in the CSM from which they can pontificate their warped ideas of what a sandbox game is all about. Now this one in particular made my blood absolutely boil:

“Ladies and gentlemen. Being the greatest ever player from the Caribbean, very near the island of Jamaica, and no not any of those sissy virgin islands. I announce my candidacy for the 4th CSM. My campaign drive? Who cares for the carebears? Are you a carebear? Or a casual player? Do you just play eve for fun? Do you just want to be left to alone to mine in hi-sec with your hulk and afk your freighter and hauler without worries? Well I hear your cries. As your representative I will push CCP to give you tools to protect your enterprises better. Keep you safer from those nasty griefers who wardec 5 man corps with 50 people and ask them to pay unfair ransoms. Think about all that hauling you could do in your freighter or hauler while afk. Imagine not having someone come into your missions and steal your salvage, no more ninja salvaging. in a nutshell. I will help protect you from -suicide ganking -salvage stealers and ninja salvaging -keep your peaceful corp safe from terrible pvpers. Suicide ganking is a major issue my carebear friends, go to any gate leading near to market hubs, especially .5 gates and there are so many gankers on these gates the competition is so high. Even the poor miners in high sec can’t mine in their faction hulks because there are those who don’t gank for profit but just to reap your tears. Mission runner– yes I am talking to you, when was the last time you ran a mission in a hub without having some guy come in and take all your salvage? And the worst part being you can’t do anything about it. Peaceful corps, I am talking to you, how do you feel being wardecced by advanced players and given un meetable ransom demands? Haulers of massive and valuable cargo, how do you feel having to spend 4 hours to warp to every gate at 0, just to go 20 jumps with your precious cargo? And still not be guaranteed to make it. Freighters are being shot down left and right, it only takes 20 insured battleships to do it. Carebears, self proclaimed or not, peaceful players, casual players, players who just want to play their game and be left alone. Unite. I will be your voice crying out from the ground to CCP. thank you.”

-Aaron Mirrorsaver, a.k.a. Justin Malcolm Patrick Sampson

Dear players of Eve; I will personally pay 20 million isk for Aaron Mirrorsaver’s frozen corpse. I am completely serious. Contact me here or in-game with this guy’s corpse and I’ll give you 20mil. He is the living and breathing manifestation of everything I hate and despise in this game and I’m almost disturbed by the degree in which reading this makes me want to repeatedly pod this guy with extreme prejudice.

High-sec griefers and pirates are a unique bunch in Eve, in that what they’re (we’re) doing is ACTUALLY an illegal activity. There’s no lack of law-enforcement and it requires an intimate knowledge and understanding of game mechanics, aggression timers, and security status. Also, its not like CCP has made it easy to do any of this as Aaron here would have you believe. Like he said, it does take twenty battleship-capable pilots willing to drop their sec status a couple notches to gank a freighter. Which is completely do-able, though not exactly easy per say. And here Aaron is crying about not being able to afk freighter-jump across the entire galaxy. Cry me a fucking river pal. It takes hard work and actual effort to get what you want out of Eve. If you’re so lazy that you can’t be bothered to actually DO the flying required to transport your “precious cargo”, either contract it out or find another profession in the game. Better idea, find a nice single-player game to play instead.

I’m rambling now. But its rampant carebearishness like this that irritates me to no end. Its also why I do what I do in Eve, and coincidentally, its why I will be casting all my votes with Logit Probit for CSM4. I hope you’ll do the same.

o7,

-Aiden Mourn

Member of The Sandbox Preservation Party

~ by Aiden Mourn on November 9, 2009.