My New Favorite Carebear (and so should you)

I’ve been feeling lazy when it comes to repairing my sec status recently. See, Hulkageddon II is right around the corner, and I need to get my security status up to a respectable level so that I may thoroughly trash it again in the name of fun. Getting to null just seemed like such a hassle, so I decided to last night to try my hand at some Empire space security ratting. Now, belt-ratting frigs in 0.9 space is a waste of time. You get something ridiculous like a .0005% sec gain when you pop one. Battleship rats however, would take you a bit further I rationalized. And where to find BS rats in high-sec space? Why whoring other peoples missions of course! And hell, you don’t even have to pop them, just stick a target painter on your salvage boat and target the BS the MR happens to be shooting at. Enter the ninja. I found this guy in a Kronos in Dodixie last night. Let me just come out and give you the tl;dr right up front: This guy is the shit. I sort of wish more MRs were like him (although if they were, we’d run out of tears pretty quickly [smilie=icon_wink.gif] ). So hats off to Psymn, for giving me one hell of a run for my sarcasm and entertaining me for the night.

Aiden Mourn > o/
Psymn > o/
Psymn > why did you shoot my wrecks?
Aiden Mourn > I wasnt aware that I did
Psymn > i saw you do it dude
Aiden Mourn > Since i have no guns on my ship =P
Psymn > you shot some white beam and they dissapeared
Psymn > ax?
Psymn > hax*
Aiden Mourn > quite possibly
Aiden Mourn > you should probably shoot at me
Aiden Mourn > just to be safe
Psymn > so what you doing out here apart from shooting wrecks?
Psymn > i dont know how to shoot
Psymn > im just saving up for a better shit
Psymn > ship*
Aiden Mourn > I save up for a better shit all the time
Aiden Mourn > it just feels better, ya know?
Psymn > all those bad guies just bumped into each other and sploaded
Aiden Mourn > its so weird how they do that!
Aiden Mourn > Well, thats pretty much why im here, to take your wrecks
Psymn > oh
Aiden Mourn > also, im target painting your rats for you
Aiden Mourn > just a little give and take as i see it
Psymn > i dont need it, i dont have any guns either
Psymn > the mission just warped away from me
Aiden Mourn > =) I like your style
Aiden Mourn > Well hey, if you learn how to shoot, let me know
Aiden Mourn > I can come “help” some more
Psymn > you already did
Psymn > very much
Aiden Mourn > I mean, its not like i can get my OWN missions to raise my sec status with 😉
Psymn > and you are scared of lowsec?
Aiden Mourn > its more of a lazyness to be honest
Aiden Mourn > getting to null can be a pain you know?
Aiden Mourn > i figure, why not just stay here, continue my daily routines, and target paint a few BSs along the way?
Aiden Mourn > now youve gotta admit, that just makes sense
Psymn > why not get your own missions
Aiden Mourn > Do i seem like the kind of guy that has the standings to get missions?
Aiden Mourn > or really even the desire?
Psymn > ook, but why not get your own missions
Psymn > yes, so you cant do missions, is that what you are saying?
Aiden Mourn > I’m saying I dont do missions
Psymn > because you cant? why dont you learn?
Aiden Mourn > and dont really do anything that puts me in any standings with anyone
Psymn > #theres instructional vids on youtube so i hear, will help you
Aiden Mourn > Heh, I’ll keep that in mind
Psymn > everyone starts learning somewhere 🙂
Aiden Mourn > =)
Psymn > so are you not going to destroy the rest of my wrecks?
Aiden Mourn > destroy is such a negative word
Aiden Mourn > Im going to reappropriate them
Psymn > like robin hood?
Aiden Mourn > not really
Aiden Mourn > robin hood gave the stuff he stole to the poor
Aiden Mourn > i pretty much intend to keep it
Psymn > thats teh same isnt it?
Aiden Mourn > No…not really
Psymn > you arnt poor?
Aiden Mourn > I do ok
Psymn > you certainly did ok out of my mission, that was very profitable for you
Psymn > you must have more than a miiion isk overall, i cant wait until im rich
Aiden Mourn > =)
Aiden Mourn > See you guys are way more fun when you throw it right back
Aiden Mourn > i kinda wish more mission runners were like you
Psymn > there are other mission runnders?
Psymn > i thought ihis was a clever singleplayers
Aiden Mourn > Dont you guys all have like a secret club house or something?
Psymn > you know how your mom sends you out every thursday night?
Aiden Mourn > hahaha, uhuh?
Psymn > 😉
Aiden Mourn > You just might be my favorite mission runner
Aiden Mourn > Well have you started taking a bite out of that “using your new kronos” user guide?
Aiden Mourn > its a doozy
Psymn > i dont fly a kronos
Psymn > i just painted a mega
Aiden Mourn > lol
Psymn > ok, i admit it, i got scammed an bought a mega someone else had painted 😦
Aiden Mourn > Aww man thats the worst
Aiden Mourn > Did he email you first? “moving to jita, no frieghter, out of contracts, convo in station”
Psymn > YOU KNOW THE GUY?
Aiden Mourn > How do you think I got this tribal tempest?
Aiden Mourn > I mean vigil
Psymn > DONT SHOOT MIE WRECKZ
Aiden Mourn > Gah! Magic!
Aiden Mourn > youre making them disappear!
Psymn > OMG YOU GOTS THEM ALL
Aiden Mourn > we both win Eve
Psymn > i completed it last week
Psymn > im just playing a few more rounds
Aiden Mourn > Howd you get past the boss at the end of carebear level 12?
Psymn > you have to give him a hug
Aiden Mourn > Well that explains why punching him in the head didnt work
Aiden Mourn > hows it look in there?
Psymn > quiet
Psymn > safe
Psymn > you can come in now
Aiden Mourn > Thanks bud
Aiden Mourn > whelp, thats my one for the 15 min
Aiden Mourn > And my security status thanks you
Psymn > one what?
Aiden Mourn > you get one sec boost per system per 15 minutes
Aiden Mourn > with npc BSs
Aiden Mourn > so ill be seeing you in 14 minutes
Aiden Mourn > if you could go ahead and save a battleship for me to target paint while you shoot at it, thatd be great
Psymn > ok
Aiden Mourn > thanks pal
Psymn > anytime matey

*13 minutes later…

Aiden Mourn > Rats, turned in the mission eh?
Psymn > of course not
Psymn > im waiting in room 4
Aiden Mourn > Darn thing mustve warped away from you again
Psymn > oh you went to THAT mission?
Aiden Mourn > =)
Aiden Mourn > Well sir, its been fun
Psymn > and profitable
Aiden Mourn > Well, you know what they say about friendship over money
Psymn > yes, you made a friend, and i made the money 🙂
Psymn > later
Aiden Mourn > lol
Aiden Mourn > Adios

See what I mean? Amazing. Thanks again for the laughs Psymn. For the record, it looks like high-sec security status grinding is going to be slow work. I netted a .2% increase for “help” Pysmn with one of his BS rats, which means cranking my sec status up to 3.0 or so (a goal) might take some time =/. I wonder, does anyone have a chart or info about what the average sec gain is per BS rat in various sec-status systems (1.0 – null)?

o7,

-Aiden

~ by Aiden Mourn on January 4, 2010.