E-Honor: The Anatomy of a Douchebag

These guys know exactly what I’m talking about

Internet spaceships can be very, VERY serious business to some people. Personally, I have kind of a hard time relating to or really even communicating with these people, because the idea of taking a game that seriously, something thats supposed to be fun and a break from the seriousness of real life, is silly to me. But to each his own, and I don’t necessarily look down on anyone who chooses to regiment their “play” into a hardcore “second job”. However, sometimes those people decide its necessary to project their own very, very serious ideals about the game onto you, in a manner that I find both annoyingly arrogant and hilariously silly.

Yes…”E-honor”, I’m sure we’ve all witnessed it at some point or another in Eve. E-honor is this ridiculously maligned sense of bushido or machismo that some people feel a need to tout around while they go through the game, usually ignorant of the fact that this makes them an insufferable asshole and an all-around douche-bag. While I think the intent is to project some sort of “code of honor” or macho attitude, to the majority of players over the age of 14 with half a brain, this comes off as petulant and ridiculous. Also, it makes you look like a serious, serious tool.

To begin with, last night saw me deciding to head into Caldari space looking for some action to try out my new “Power Rifter” fit. This thing is a beast; 3x 150mm ACs and a rocket launcher in the highs, scram, web, and MWD (AB for better cap stability though) in the mids, and DC II, small armor rep II, and 200mm tungsten plate in the lows. At Wensely’s suggestion, I’ve stuck 2 small trimark rigs on it as well as a small projectile collision accelerator rig.

After getting into Kamio, my first order of business was to immediately flip a can and pick a fight with a Wolf assault frigate. This actually went a lot better than you’d think, but even though I managed to get him into structure, I went down in flames. Just the same, it was a really fun fight, and I’d say the power rifter held its own pretty well.

After that, I docked up to wait out the aggro and get some RL stuff done (highly pressing matters such as “buy beer” and “make cheeseburger”), before heading to Jita (*groan*) to buy fittings for 3 more rifters. I came back on to see a couple of our guys who hang out up in Caldari space (and CLEAN UP doing it) chomping at the bit for some pew, so Solomar, Tuomas, Bass Indy and myself all fleeted up and went looking for trouble.

Trouble turned out to find us pretty quick. I went straight back to the Wolf pilot’s miner friends and flipped them again. On que, the Wolf jumped right back in and engaged. Now, the plan was, I start fighting and call for Solo and/or Tuomas to jump in with RR as needed, but as I engaged, I almost didn’t even need it. I dropped his shields pretty fast and then switched to RF phased plasma and started hammering through his armor tank. Eventually, he did start to eat into my armor so I did call for rr (hey, no one called this a 1 vs 1 did they?). After that, the wolf finally went down kicking and screaming.

I went ahead and camped the station and sure enough, the same guy undocked in a Hurricane. I immediately engaged, and Solo and Tuomas warped in for RR. Predictably, the Cane started shooting at Solo’s Ruppy as well and we both started to lay into him. When we realized the guy had stopped shooting, we overheated the hell out of our guns to bring him down before he docked, but sadly, even with some noble bumping help from Bass, he docked up with 25% structure left. Bastard.

After that we managed to snag a Drake and then the same guy in a Cormorant 1, 2, 3 times (even though the second two times was him coming back in unfitted Cormies to try to grab his loot), the first pop dropping us oddly enough a Bantam BP (I about had a heart attack when I though I heard Solo say “Phantasm BP” over voice). We hunted a bit more until we decided to disband for the night. I had a ton of fun with these guys (why is everything just more fun with Virginians?) and even though he didn’t manage to get on any of the KM, much thanks to Tuomas for all the RR help (and to Bass for grabbing an indy to snag all the ore we flipped).

So, here we come to the Douche Bag of the Week. I remained by the Cormorant pilot’s three wrecks after he logged, periodically refreshing aggro while watching a movie in case he came back for added hilarity, when a Punisher warped into the belt. I realized I still had a can out from trying to bait the Cormie pilot that was labeled “fight?”, and the Punisher flew right up to it. I headed back to station to drop off a lot of excess ammo and loot in my hold and came back. Sure enough, the Punisher went red and started to target me. “What the hell” I thought, and  engaged.

The fight seemed to be pretty well matched for a bit, but then I started to realize fighting a cap-boosting frig in a non cap-boosting frig without a neut fitted was not going to work out so well. I started to go down as my cap started to drain out, so I did the rational thing…I turned, overheaded my AB, got out of scram range, and warped to station. I know when I’m beat, and I see no reason to lose a ship to underscore that. The Punisher pilot however felt way, WAY differently, and decided to unzip, whip out his epeen, and challenge my “honor”. Internet spaceships folks….internet spaceships.

Kamio Local:

Aiden Mourn > =P nice shooting Sacred
sacredchord > dear evryone, Aiden is a little bitch
Aiden Mourn > lol
sacredchord > picks a frig v frig fight and runs like a pussy
sacredchord > that is all
Ilikia > good to know
Aiden Mourn > well, in all fairness the can wasnt for you
Aiden Mourn > but, i yield. good fight man

I ran, I know. And I’m really ok with that. I concede the loss; you win. A few “good fight”s all around and we’re on our way right? ….right?

sacredchord > lol i’m in a frig dude, and I’m waiting for you
Aiden Mourn > well, it appears i was in a frig too
sacredchord > bring any ship you want
Aiden Mourn > hah, naw man, im out for the night. gf
Aiden Mourn > just an fyi though, shit talking ninjas doesnt work =P

I’ve gotten this before. Its true by the way, shit talking and baiting ninjas into a fight really doesn’t work. We make it our job in Eve to do exactly that to other people, and we’re kind of immune to it. Sacredchord was FAR from through though.

sacredchord > lol, well nothing does
Aiden Mourn > seriously though, good shooting
sacredchord > ninga’s are pussies
sacredchord > everyone knows that
Aiden Mourn > ok
sacredchord > you’re a big corp of fail PVPers
Aiden Mourn > well, theres a differnce between being a pussy and knowing youre beat and gtfo
sacredchord > so crawl back in your station
Aiden Mourn > I am pretty cozy in here 😉
sacredchord > and you’re both
Aiden Mourn > I guess if you say so

I unpause the movie I’ve been watching. Wolverine resumes tearing the heads off everyone and bedding hot Canadians.

sacredchord > No one is afraid of Ningas so don’t throw your corp name around like it means shit
Aiden Mourn > did i miss something?
Aiden Mourn > why are you so angry?
sacredchord > I’m not, but you ran from a fair fight

Another note here: it is my firm belief that there is no such thing as a “fair fight”. Ever, whether it be RL or internet spaceships.

Aiden Mourn > youre right, i did
Aiden Mourn > we shot at each other, i was starting to lose, i warped off
sacredchord > I can’t take you seriously as a pilot
Aiden Mourn > lol
Aiden Mourn > sorry, i forgot to bring my e-honor
sacredchord > regardless, I’m still confused where this notion that Ningas dont’ suck comes from?

The shit talking continues! I’m still at a loss where sacred’s e-honor hardon came from, and at this point its just getting silly. But, for the sake of trying to understand the eve-douche (and because it was humorous), I stuck around.

Ilikia > e-peen fail
Aiden Mourn > ill try to remember to take internet spaceships a bit more seriously next time
sacredchord > don’t start a fight you can’t finish
Aiden Mourn > see thats where i disagree
Aiden Mourn > why NOT start a fight to see how you do, and if you can, get out and learn from it
Aiden Mourn > id say you failed at keeping me pinned down if youre so bent out of shape about it
sacredchord > lol, I offered for you to come back in literally any ship to fight my frig
sacredchord > and you turned it down
Aiden Mourn > indeed
Aiden Mourn > this being the only ship i have for about 15 systems, thatd be tought to pull off
Aiden Mourn > and anyways, i prefer to keep my epeen in my pants, not wave it around at the first chance to prove my e-honor
Aiden Mourn > anyways, again, good fight
sacredchord > here’s the deal honey, I’m not talking about honor
sacredchord > its a video game, you said that not me
Aiden Mourn > sacredchord > I can’t take you seriously as a pilot
Aiden Mourn > then dont
sacredchord > I don’t
Aiden Mourn > haha, ok
Aiden Mourn > ill try not lose sleep over that one
Aiden Mourn > anyways
Aiden Mourn > *again*
Aiden Mourn > good fight

FFS, stop being a d-bag, relax a little, and try to ENJOY the *game* you’re playing. Jeez.

Aiden Mourn > you were winning
Aiden Mourn > and thats a pretty snappy punisher fit
sacredchord > but you respond with “Shit talking Ninga’s doesn’t work”
sacredchord > I’m confused how you have corp pride

Hahahaha…this guy just doesn’t want to give up does he? I get corp pride by posting chatlogs on my blog of you looking like a dumb-ass and then laughing about it with my corp mates. Thats how.

Spitfork > sacredchord ‘sup? you up for a fight
sacredchord > sure
sacredchord > where at?
Aiden Mourn > lol, better not let him down 😉
Axemaster > lol i jumped in just in time to observe the e-peen waving
Aiden Mourn > theres a lot of it going on
Axemaster > hey guys, only REAL MEN fight with INTERNET PIXELS!!!!!
sacredchord > isn’t it a little stupid to fight in an internet game, then bitch about people fighting in an internet game?
Aiden Mourn > lol
Aiden Mourn > yes
Aiden Mourn > but im not the one bitching about the fight bud
sacredchord > well that;s because it wasn’t a fight honey
Aiden Mourn > ok, are you a grandmother, or a transvestite?
Aiden Mourn > stop calling people “honey”, its…..weird
Aiden Mourn > wait, unless youre a lunchlady

I still have about 3 minutes of aggro, and this guy is about to fight someone else in belt 1. So what do I do? I warp to belt 1 at 50km to see if the fights started so I can jump in. See? Fresh out of e-honor amigo =) (sadly the fight had *not* started yet and my aggro ran out). But behold, as sacredchord sets out prove to all of Kamio local that his doucheness knows no bounds, and that he has absolutely zero sense of humor:

sacredchord > why are you back?
Aiden Mourn > 😉
sacredchord > are you comming or not spit?
Unquestioned Mistiff > just like my penis..
Unquestioned Mistiff > see?
Unquestioned Mistiff > see what you did there
sacredchord > well take my can
sacredchord > battleship vs frig

*Unquestioned Mistiff is in  domi, yet also doesn’t go for sacred’s shit-talking

sacredchord > fait fight
Unquestioned Mistiff > lol
Unquestioned Mistiff > that would be boring..
sacredchord > because you would lose?
Unquestioned Mistiff > i give up
Unquestioned Mistiff > imma go watch a movie
sacredchord > lol I’ll take out your domi anyday

*Spitfork come in for the 1vs1 and loses. It really was a nice punisher fit, whatever it was.

Spitfork > lol
Spitfork > gf
sacredchord > see I’m invicable
Spitfork > what’s your fit?
sacredchord > better than yours buddy

*Face. Palm.

So…what prompts someone to be such a walking hard-on? Now I’m not talking about being “mean” or talking smack, thats something I do daily in Eve, but its the unflinching cringe-worthy machismo that occasional flexes its pasty 15 yr old muscles in this game that makes my head hurt. Do you know who I pictured I was talking to while interacting with this guy?


Yep, Buzz, from Home Alone. Actually, It was sort of a toss-up between him or that weird karate kid from Smokin Aces:


So, I’m not really sure what else to add to this. Lets just leave it at this: Keep it in your pants guys. No one needs or wants to see you whip out your e-honor and try to wave it at everyone in the room


P.S. It appears sacredchord’s, urm….talents are up for hire. Good luck with that.

~ by Aiden Mourn on February 12, 2010.

2 Responses to “E-Honor: The Anatomy of a Douchebag”

  1. Sounds like a tool and a half. The best part is how a beefed out Punisher is an outrageously tough T1 frig, but its obvious weakpoint is the 2 mids don’t allow you to web and AB, so OF COURSE your target is going to just turn around and leave when they start to lose. It’d be like if he brought TDs against a missile ship and then flooded local with, “OMG WHAT A NOOB!!! YOU DIDN’T LET ME TD YOU!”

    A little battleclinic stalking makes it look like he was probably flying a ship identical to this loss of his: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=9350424

    He just uses an energy vampire and ACs to make it so he can rep all day, and then apparently gets a big dick when he blows up a Rifter. What an outstanding individual.

  2. This made me giggle.

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