Mama Always Says "Stupid Is As Stupid Does"

TEARS is at a new milestone in its frustrating and confoundingly happy-go-lucky existence: we currently have FOUR active war-decs levied against us by various groups of mercenaries, PvP thrill-seekers, and incensed carebears. To be fair, 3 of those decs come by way of Sect Or, a new corp that we’ve taken under the TEARS banner; their wars have by proxy extended to us. The fourth one is from the UK Freedom Fighers, a 20 man group of PvP group vets (take a stab at what timezone they base out of…), who for once in terms of TEARS WTs, seem to have their shit together.

We at SN and TEARS have some pretty basic ideas that we stick to when war-deced: unless WE did the deccing, we see no reason to play on anyone else’s terms. This means no, we won’t play station games with you, we will easily evade your blobby gate-camps, and no, we aren’t going to accept fleet requests from your alts (but “A” for effort there fellas).

So, we ninja-poof and avoid WTs unless in an organized group. No, its not that we “suck at pvp” or are scared of the idea of war. Its more-so that we see no need to come and engage you on your terms, nor do we see your war-dec as a reason to stop doing what we do.

So, the first couple days of our little bore-war here I spent logging in while I had RL work to do and then leaving myself logged in sitting in station in Umokka. A fun lunch-time game I’ve been playing is counting the number of times one of the UKFF guys (actually corp ticker is “FFUK”…clever right?) docks and then undocks at the station I’m at (the record is 12 times over the course of one turkey sandwich…ouch man =/ ).

As the weekend approached however, I decided I needed some fun and jump-cloned back to Dodixie for some ninjaing fun (hah, so much for war-time intelligence). It felt good to scan and mission-crash after spending the better part of the past 2 weeks doing some can-flipping and picking fights in Umokka, and I netted some great loot over the few hours I spent doing so. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be shooting at me at all. I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for Dixie, but it does require a certain amount of patience and ingenuity to get mission runners to shoot at you here (or if they do, to stick around). This was patience I didn’t have last night. So, I grabbed my trusty rifter “Failsauce” and headed to the belts of Vylade and Auvergne to step on some toes.

See now, what started as “Aiden needs a little pew” turned into “Aiden goes on a bloody rampage through the roid belts of Sinq Laison”. After about 2 hours, I got seven kills last night. Yow. Were all or any of them spectacular or isk-heavy kills? Not really, but some really fun and good fights (and a few almost fights: to the 2 month old Hyperion pilot who wouldn’t engage me but offered a “dual in 3 months”, please know that we laughed at your fail at great length).

Now 4 of these kills were the result of flipping not that much ore from one guy and his buddy. The one guy, I killed 3 times in the span of 25 minutes. Ok, there’s carelessness, and there’s getting heated and wanting revenge; I get that. But then, there’s just plain stupid. If I’ve already taken your Caracal twice, and then your dessie AND a friend in a Scythe at the same time, coming back in anything really doesn’t make much sense right? Yeah…thats what I thought.

Now, just because this guy seemed to be a very special kind of special (read: short-bus, padded helmet), I decided to have some fun with him. This starts after he first opened up with his Caracal solo. I got him into structure and then somehow I lost point or he burned out of range and got away.

Aiden Mourn > why you shoot?
KG Moger > dude you jacke are stuff
Aiden Mourn > i thought free ore
KG Moger > hell no

Mr. Moger returns in another Caracal. He dies quickly.

Aiden Mourn > woops
Aiden Mourn > more free stuff!
KG Moger > yea thanks ass hole
Aiden Mourn > sir
Aiden Mourn > self defense
Aiden Mourn > you jumped me
Aiden Mourn > ass
Aiden Mourn > I am allowed to protect myself from ruffians like yourself

KG Moger > you fucken jackour shit wile he was sitting there
Aiden Mourn > sir, im sure I don’t know what you’re talking about
Aiden Mourn > I was merely defending myself from your brutal attack
Aiden Mourn > space is just not as safe as it used to be i guess
Aiden Mourn > I hope you bruts have learned a lesson about inflicting dastardly abuses on innocents

KG returns this time in a Cormorant, the Scythe is sitting 65km away from me but starts to burn towards me as KG starts firing.

Aiden Mourn > What is this, gang rape?
Aiden Mourn > man, you guys are savages

I dispatch the Cormorant as the Scythe opens up on me. I didnt realize until later that the Scythe pilot, with no knowledge of aggro timers apparently, actually concorded himself on me. I still somehow managed to get 38% of the damage on him. Nice response time Concord.

KG Moger > he did not even attce you you are the savage i did but he did not
Aiden Mourn > he did in fact attack me
KG Moger > no cus he has no guns
Aiden Mourn > well, how come i was taking damage from him?
Aiden Mourn >
Aiden Mourn > it would appear he DID have guns, sir
Aiden Mourn > if you sirs would like to come back and fight honorably, i’ll be here to throw down in fisticuffs

Hey, its worth a shot right?

KG Moger > sorry he did have some this was some thing i did not know sorry about that but its stupied for you to jack stuff that we mined
Aiden Mourn > I didnt realize I had done so
Aiden Mourn > And I accept your apologies
KG Moger > will u give it back

My friend, you’ve just said the magic words
Aiden Mourn > since youve appologized, then yes, you may come back and collect your ore
KG Moger > how do i know you not just going to kill me
Aiden Mourn > scouts honor
Aiden Mourn > you have appologized
Aiden Mourn > the harm is forgiven

KG Moger > ok

=/ Yikes. Badger enters the arena, all nice and flashy. Pop.

Aiden Mourn > Oh my stars… guns were on auto
Aiden Mourn > a thousand appologies sir

KG Moger > lol you think i am stuiped lol
Aiden Mourn > In fact at this point, I do actually
KG Moger > lol well this time i di not attack you so now i have good info for my other frinds lol
Aiden Mourn > I see
Aiden Mourn > hang on, let me fleet you so you can see how i was fitted

The true Darwin test…

Aiden Mourn > youre already in fleet, cant
Aiden Mourn > i was just trying to show you how i was fitted
KG Moger > hold on
KG Moger > k
Aiden Mourn > ok can you see the fit?
KG Moger > how do i do that
Aiden Mourn > right click my name
Aiden Mourn > their should be a “view fit” option
KG Moger > nope nothing

Aiden Mourn > wait are you in sttion?
KG Moger > no
Aiden Mourn > are you in a ship?
KG Moger > pod
Aiden Mourn > oh yeah, plus you arent even in system with me
Aiden Mourn > if youre in the same system, in space, in ships, you can view each others fittings
KG Moger > nope not that stupied
Aiden Mourn > you sure?

KG Moger > yea
Aiden Mourn > ahh well
Aiden Mourn > just trying to share this rifter fit to even the odds next time
KG Moger > lol yea do not care just tell me what u have
Aiden Mourn > i have sleeper guns on my ship
Aiden Mourn > thats the secret

KG Moger > o really hum never huard of them
Aiden Mourn > the npcs in wormholes?
Aiden Mourn > those guys
Aiden Mourn > i could sell you some

KG Moger > o i reallly do not belive u for some reason
Aiden Mourn > well, i did kill you and your friend
Aiden Mourn > you 3 times
Aiden Mourn > and you were in bigger ships than me
Aiden Mourn > and I think its fair to say I came out on top of that one

KG Moger > o do u fill proud you took out to noobs woop do da

No, but I am giggling at the sheer breadth of your stupidity. At this point, its like 3:30 am, I’ve been drinking, and I just get plain weird on this guy:

Aiden Mourn > i see it as an educational experience for you
Aiden Mourn > I’m like your mentor
Aiden Mourn > your guru

KG Moger > hahahahaha lol u are no where near that to me cus i do not care lol
Aiden Mourn > Thats the first step of acceptance
Aiden Mourn > my young padawan
Aiden Mourn > I will be your spiritual guide on this adventure we call eve
Aiden Mourn > i will be the spirit fox that guides you on your path of oneness on your hadj of self-awareness and discovery

KG Moger > lol good bye
Aiden Mourn > you will find your way my little acorn
Aiden Mourn > just….dont be so fucking dumb
Aiden Mourn > =)

I was determined to get one more kill for the evening, and quickly found one more. Unfortunately, the Imicus who went red in front of me happened to be a 5-day character, which I didn’t realized until I’d popped him. =/. I really try to avoid players THAT young, and I honestly did feel bad at first. That is, until he carried on like a little girl with sand in her eye, even after I a) apologized b) reimbursed him for his loss, and c) refrained from killing him a second time when he undocked still red. I hate to come off as heartless, but this guy just wouldn’t stop flat out crying about the “injustices” inflicted upon him. I won’t post the whole thing because it just gets sad a little emo-rage-y, but here are some highlights. I’m treating this one the same way they treat writing about minors in the paper so I’m blocking the name out:

###123 > you killed my fucking mineing ship you fuck stick!!!!
Aiden Mourn > look calm down
Aiden Mourn > again, im sorry i killed you
###123 > i didnt think there was fuck sticks like you though but hey YOUR THE MAN!!!!

Aiden Mourn > here, thats for your loss
###123 > i dont need fuckin cherity
Aiden Mourn > no you need a tissue
Aiden Mourn > look, im sorry i killed you i didnt realzie you were a 4 day character
###123 > the hell i do
###123 > dont dont understand i am SOOO laughing at you right now so why if i was laughing do i need a tissuse?
Aiden Mourn > right, my bad
Aiden Mourn > look….stick with this game, i mean that
Aiden Mourn > theres a stiff learing curve, but its fun as hell

Also, it should be noted that I wasn’t going to post this at all until he went after “Finders & Keepers”. You keep my damn BLOG out of it! =P

###123 > lmao i was fucking with you there because i red your crap posts when you took the one ore from me before
###123 > blog it so i can look at your mighty blog page and read this shit on it so i can laugh some more

I hope that you too have “read this shit” and “laugh some more”. If you haven’t yet, and feel so inclined, a quick comment on Crazy Kinux’s post about the new Eve Online Blog Pack recommending Finders and Keepers would be immensely appreciated. Thanks again for reading.


~ by Aiden Mourn on February 22, 2010.

2 Responses to “Mama Always Says "Stupid Is As Stupid Does"”

  1. Jeez, the SAME day that I went looking for trouble, in the SAME system. You had much better results than I, so congrats! Especially on the tears and the “I’ll be here to throw down in fisticuffs!” talk.

  2. lol.
    Just lol.
    But I would take some “Sleeper Guns” (T2 Autocannons I guess) 😛
    I really enjoyed it, keep up the good work.

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