The Suddenly Ninjas "Best Carebear Tears Competion" April Winner

Tears; that sweet sweet nectar that sustains the Ninja. To say that the definition of tears is simply “you crying about something someone did to you” would be shortsighted. More specifically, “Tears” are the raging, overly-emotional manifestations of your frustration, recognized self-stupidity, and feelings of injustice at those who have liberated you of isk, assets, time, or dignity.

We at Suddenly Ninjas and TEARS take the extraction, harvesting, and processing of these tears quite seriously, as its an area that we’ve become pretty damn good at. As such, we like to do things that encourage each other, new ninjas and old vets alike, to hone our skills at the art of the boo-hoo. One such time-honored and predictably hilarious event is the Suddenly Ninjas monthly “Best Carebear Tears” competition. After a bit of time on the back-burner, I’ve recently decided to reinstate this tradition of Ninja prowess.

Tears do come in all shapes and sizes, from outright whining and cries of despair, to rage-infused threats of real-life bodily harm, to (one my favorites!) flippantly downplaying your loss no matter how mind-boggling the price-tag, claiming to have “like 5 more” of those faction fit CNRs, and attempting to reverse the situation on your ninja, as if somehow your sad attempt at “denial of tears” makes those stinging salty drops that are clearly rolling down your cheeks any less tasty.

Now, tears that embody ALL of those attributes, as well as a host of other including I believe all 5 stages of grief….now THOSE are tears worthy of being declared “The Best Carebear Tears” of the month. So without further ado, I give you the winning tears of the Suddenly Ninjas “Best Carebear Tears Competition” for April 2010. Congratulation to Orions Lord for his lovely examples from Elf Lord (double points for WoW-crossover tears).

I went ahead and bolded some of my favorite bits, and the complete spectrum of tears that this guy spouts out is simply breath-taking; from talking like a potty-mouthed 12 year old to speaking like like a cultured English aristocrat, bragging about his massive wealth and power, and even tossing in the token mother joke! Elf Lord, we salute you for your utter douche-baggery and ass-hattitude. Behold, and enjoy

Well I have some tears from elf lord I killed his iteron he raged for hours.

Well we from TEARS killed him a couple of time already.

[ 2010.04.23 20:05:55 ] Orions lord > just try it elf
[ 2010.04.23 20:06:57 ] Orions lord > gf

[ 2010.04.23 20:12:46 ] Elf Lord > Hi dick head. if you thouhgt for a sec that I didn’t expect that to be a trap, you are stupider than I thought. Why do you think I sent a cheep ass itty istead of something bigger? oh and you may Me 600.000.00 in insurance.
[ 2010.04.23 20:13:57 ] Orions lord > wait
[ 2010.04.23 20:13:58 ] Elf Lord > what you figure that when I simply abandon those ship after you stool from them and did’nt attack you would get Me to retaliatae buy stealing from you and lose a BS?
[ 2010.04.23 20:14:32 ] Orions lord > http://tears.evekb.co.uk/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=1362442
[ 2010.04.23 20:14:46 ] Orions lord > 17mil loss i hope you enjoy the 600k
[ 2010.04.23 20:15:03 ] Elf Lord > Orion you are about as dumb as a retard can get and still live.
[ 2010.04.23 20:15:12 ] Orions lord > thank you
[ 2010.04.23 20:15:28 ] Orions lord > I take that as a compliment
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:18 ] Elf Lord > 17 Mill? how do you figure that?
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:24 ] Mortalitis > u mad?
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:30 ] Elf Lord > it was an itty you waste of cum
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:40 ] Mortalitis > lol
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:43 ] Mirasta > i loled also
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:49 ] Orions lord > rigs
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:56 ] Orions lord > you forgot about that
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:57 ] Elf Lord > oh please
[ 2010.04.23 20:16:58 ] Sicarius Mortus > hey Elf Lord, you kiss your mother with that mouth? 😉
[ 2010.04.23 20:17:05 ] Elf Lord > those were free.
[ 2010.04.23 20:17:16 ] Elf Lord > they cost Me not a cent.
[ 2010.04.23 20:17:26 ] Elf Lord > ROLFMAO
[ 2010.04.23 20:17:47 ] Elf Lord > that entire ship was free and everything on it.
[ 2010.04.23 20:17:58 ] Orions lord > well why so angry
[ 2010.04.23 20:17:58 ] Mortalitis > but you could have sold the ship
[ 2010.04.23 20:18:09 ] Mirasta > He Mad
[ 2010.04.23 20:18:14 ] Elf Lord > ya it was more fun making Orion look like the putz he really is
[ 2010.04.23 20:18:27 ] Mirasta > Whats a Putz?
[ 2010.04.23 20:18:46 ] Mirasta > its that like a VaJayJay?
[ 2010.04.23 20:18:47 ] Elf Lord > and I damn sure don’t need 20 Million that I wouldn’t fail me
[ 2010.04.23 20:18:57 ] Orions lord > http://tears.evekb.co.uk/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=1333825
[ 2010.04.23 20:19:01 ] Orions lord > 337 mil
[ 2010.04.23 20:19:05 ] Elf Lord > Jewish term for stupid beyond believe
[ 2010.04.23 20:19:25 ] Orions lord > http://tears.evekb.co.uk/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=1333863
[ 2010.04.23 20:19:29 ] Orions lord > 284mil
[ 2010.04.23 20:19:32 ] Mortalitis > n1
[ 2010.04.23 20:19:51 ] Orions lord > You have lost already half a billion on me LOL
[ 2010.04.23 20:20:49 ] Elf Lord > and so have you you duffs are have you forgotten the 2 ships of yours I killed?
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:10 ] Orions lord > my thorax you mean
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:21 ] Orions lord > loss 40mil
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:22 ] Elf Lord > and I have 10 Billion more that I can use to fuck with you whne I get into the mose
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:36 ] Mirasta > mose?
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:46 ] Mirasta > Is That another word For VaJayJay
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:49 ] Orions lord > So I dont see the problem just go on mining then
[ 2010.04.23 20:21:50 ] Elf Lord > and you buddies ship and that the thing I killed was no thorax
[ 2010.04.23 20:22:18 ] Elf Lord > ya mose mode pluss loose mose
[ 2010.04.23 20:22:30 ] Mortalitis > what?
[ 2010.04.23 20:22:37 ] Elf Lord > or the big deer I can never remember
[ 2010.04.23 20:22:49 ] Mirasta > I dont even Know what
[ 2010.04.23 20:23:15 ] Elf Lord > oh and the 15 mins is up so we can all go outside and play, all freiendly like.
[ 2010.04.23 20:23:23 ] Orions lord > sure
[ 2010.04.23 20:23:28 ] Orions lord > hello elf
[ 2010.04.23 20:23:32 ] Orions lord > hows it going
[ 2010.04.23 20:23:59 ] Elf Lord > ok some one is in kooky land
[ 2010.04.23 20:24:08 ] Elf Lord > and It ain’t Me
[ 2010.04.23 20:24:27 ] Orions lord > give me a hint plzzz
[ 2010.04.23 20:25:33 ] Elf Lord > no more fun lettting you try thinking. more than likely it makes your head hurt and thats fun also
[ 2010.04.23 20:26:20 ] Orions lord > whose mose
[ 2010.04.23 20:26:57 ] Elf Lord > damn are you totally illerate?
[ 2010.04.23 20:27:15 ] Orions lord > Just go mining for us sir

[ 2010.04.23 20:29:39 ] Elf Lord > lets put it this way, I am 59 kicked back drinking a 750.00 bottle of Single Malt Whiskey and smoking a Rocky Patel Cigar. I have over 10 Billion in My accout in in a week I could buy a trillion more plex/isk. you are a learning exercise no more and no

[ 2010.04.23 20:30:03 ] Elf Lord > less. so carry on with your games I am actually having fun designing ships.

[ 2010.04.23 20:30:19 ] Mortalitis > throw me a £1000, im poor
[ 2010.04.23 20:31:24 ] Elf Lord > sorry chap I don’t do Charity work. It does not one whit of good. Be there did that watched the moeny wasted. bit late there sir.
[ 2010.04.23 20:31:24 ] Orions lord > Elf Lord I can beat that I just got laid
[ 2010.04.23 20:31:51 ] Commander Spax > neither a borrower nor lender be 😀
[ 2010.04.23 20:32:17 ] Orions lord > smoking is bad a to much drinking also elf
[ 2010.04.23 20:32:30 ] Elf Lord > really? some serville young thing dumber than you? how much did she cost?
[ 2010.04.23 20:32:43 ] Elf Lord > or was she your sister or mum?
[ 2010.04.23 20:32:55 ] Elf Lord > with you blokes it is hard to tell
[ 2010.04.23 20:32:55 ] Commander Spax > ouch 😀
[ 2010.04.23 20:32:57 ] Orions lord > lol
[ 2010.04.23 20:33:54 ] Gar Myst > and that’s coming from a guy that calls himself ‘Elf Lord’
[ 2010.04.23 20:34:32 ] Elf Lord > ah yes a miner. of course how rude of Me. I dso apoligize.
[ 2010.04.23 20:34:44 ] Mortalitis > :monocle:
[ 2010.04.23 20:34:45 ] leesteve > why dont you all have it out
[ 2010.04.23 20:35:24 ] Orions lord > Elf stop drinking and smoking please

[ 2010.04.23 20:36:20 ] Elf Lord > and you need to pay more attention to Mythology young man? Elves are never and have never been portrade as gay in an size shape or form. a tad more along the lines of cruel visious, cold blood or ya and really good looking. The last part I have to pass

This goes on and on

last line was from

[ 2010.04.23 21:57:00 ] Elf Lord > well of course but the taste treat is a bonus

Then I went to bed

Simply magnificent. Orions Lord has received his prize of a racial CovOps frig of his choice as well as the impressive “Tear Jerker” medal for his masterful extractions. Well done sir. The May “Carebear Tears” Competition is currently well underway, so except some delicious examples from that in a little bit.

In other news, even though CCP has decided to delay my present (Tyrannis) a week, today is my birthday! (presents and isk-donations are readily accepted in-game). So I leave you now as there is much cake (read: booze) to be consumed. Keep em crying.

o7,
-Aiden

~ by Aiden Mourn on May 17, 2010.