The Passive Heist

Infiltration alts come in two flavors: active and passive. The active ones are the toons you grind time with, work your way into a corps trust with, achieve director rights with, and eventually eviscerate corp-wide isk and assets with. Active infiltration alts can take a lot of time and energy, but with the right mind-set can obviously seriously pay off.

Passive alts though, can almost be more fun (if they work that is), with the sheer lack of effort it can take to achieve similar end results; call it the lazy-man’s con if you want, or the slacker-heist maybe.

Over the past 6 months or so, I’ve had one such passive alt parked in a mining corp and I just managed to walk away, UN-burned and UN-suspected, with about 750mil isk.

This alt had:

  • no skills trained. At all.
  • no special roles
  • no active rights
  • no friends in corp
  • zero participation in corp activities
  • a complete lack of face-time in corp chat or corp forums

Actually, over the course of the past 5 months, I logged this alt in a grand total of 3 times, simply to empty the corporate hanger and log off again. I never even actually left the station where the corporate hanger was located, but every 45 days or so, sure enough, that hanger would be full of un-secured junk and crappy t1 ships prime for the yoinking.

That’s right, the same corp. Three times. Thats just…whats the word?….embarrassing. Completely embarrassing.

I do however feel that I need to emphasize that 90% of what I stole was complete crap. It just happened to be a around 750mil isk worth of complete crap (which is a lot of crap). Among some of my favorite stand-out items of the theft, purely for their total WTF-factor:

  • 57 Vigils. No, really.
  • 391 salvager I modules. See above.
  • 28 Wreathes (tier 1 Minmatar indy). WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS.
  • A salvage-rigged, armor-buffer Brutix with shield extenders and (wait for it) lazors. My head hurts.

Some of the tastier bits did include 10 Coveters, a shit-ton of salvage materials, and about 200,000 m3 of random high-sec ore. \o/

But lets get back to that “un-burned and un-suspected” bit. Today, I decided to log in the alt and see if I could rack up a 4th consecutive theft (I’ve come to think of this corp in crop-harvesting terms). But wait! This is not my house! This is not my beautiful wife! I found myself not in my usual harvester-corp, but in an NPC corp with my mailbox blinking. Figuring the jig was (finally) up, I opened my mailbox full of 200+ corp mails that I’ve never read and found one from the current CEO:

Wut.

Inactivity. Nothing in the way of “every single time you logged in seemed to coincide with us loosing all our crap and terribad fail-ships” or hell, a “hey, who are you, and why have I never seen you in corp, ever?” And if you’re wondering about the censored names, having just walked away scott-free from the piggy bank with 3/4 of a bil, I don’t really see a reason to burn this legitimate looking and incident and burn-free alt now.

So I realize this is in no way an Alliance-crippling, multi-billion isk theft that will rock the foundations of this game, but 750mil isk for doing absolutely nothing? Yes please.

o7,

-Aiden

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~ by Aiden Mourn on August 23, 2010.

4 Responses to “The Passive Heist”

  1. You re-applied right? Lol

  2. That’s hilarious. These carebears are so clueless.

  3. I have 2 alts doing nothing….

    HUZZAH!

  4. Couldn’t you leave the guy is space…they you are “kick” proof…?

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