Stranger Danger

I’m not sure if tonight is a full moon, or maybe its due to the Labor Day holiday and all the weirdos that usually work their Monday day shifts at the morgue or the bug museum actually got to log in and play some Eve, but the creep-factor on Tranquility today was at a new high.

The first guy I scanned down today wouldn’t shoot, but he did decide to convo me and tell me what was up:

Kruuhndan > you wanna know what i think?
Aiden Mourn > probably not
Aiden Mourn > but go ahead
Kruuhndan > you are kid with a really small dick 🙂
Aiden Mourn > can I ask why you’re thinking about childrens genitals?


I felt obligated to put an Amber Alert out in local and informed the local schools and playgrounds of the impending pedo-threat:

Aiden Mourn > Kruuhndan > you wanna know what i think?
Aiden Mourn > Kruuhndan > you are kid with a really small dick 🙂
Aiden Mourn > pedo alert

Virenex > oh god a pedofile
Virenex > the smiley face is waht creeps me out

After locking down the local library and ice cream store, I went back to scanning and soon popped in on another guy running a Worlds Collide in a Maelstrom. Dropping in on him in the second room, I went about looting, salvaging, and even popping a couple drones to “help” him take out some of the rats. J0rg, however, was not in a very “multiplayer” mood.

As a general rule, horrible smack talk in local the second you land on grid is usually an indication of what we like to call a “lay-up”; that is to say, play your cards right and this particular bear is already dead. Being a persistent nuisance usually helps.

j0rg > aiden just fuck off please
j0rg > get your ugly ass rupter and dronies out of my mission

Aiden Mourn > I’m helping!
Aiden Mourn > the rats were scramming you
Aiden Mourn > my trusty drones came to the rescue
Aiden Mourn > now youre going to invite me into your fleet
Aiden Mourn > its the butterfly effect!

j0rg > if i need help i’ll ask for it
Aiden Mourn > hows your tank doin?
Aiden Mourn > need reps?
Aiden Mourn > ammo?

j0rg > dude WTF
j0rg > get the FUCK OUT

Aiden Mourn > nevar!

J0rg locked me up and started shooting right then. I was flying my trusty Ruppy of Doom ™, so I flicked on the disruptor, went in for a nice orbit, and started to absolutely melt his tank. J0rg started to panic in local:

j0rg > being ganked here
Ecco Homo > I’d offer help, but I’m refitting my ship.
Aiden Mourn > shhh
Aiden Mourn > it’ll all be over soon
Aiden Mourn > there there

Roughly 1 minute and 40 seconds after j0rg fired his first shots at me, his Maelstrom ate a giant slice of humble pie before the mighty power of my salvage cruiser. Tears ensued:

j0rg > you fucking dipshit
Aiden Mourn > we learned something today, didnt we class
Aiden Mourn > there will be a pop quiz later j0rg, I hope you took notes

And here’s where things got weird. Seeing as he rage-logged, I gave up on the idea of trying to extend aggro on j0rg and decided that I’d take my hilarious victory and walk with it. 15 minutes later though, j0rg logged back on and convoed me, and we proceeded to have one of the weirdest in-game conversations I’ve ever had:

Aiden Mourn > Yes?
j0rg > i’m listening
Aiden Mourn > and what do you hear?
j0rg > nothing
j0rg > … go on

Aiden Mourn > I’m sorry, is there a point you’re trying to make right now?
j0rg > hey you’re getting out of character
Aiden Mourn > I really wasn’t ever IN character
j0rg > oh that smacktalk in local made me believe otherwise
Aiden Mourn > well, I’d say “good fight” but you were really sort of a dick
j0rg > now we’re getting somewhere … go on
Aiden Mourn > Um, do you think I was trying to RP a teacher or something?
j0rg > yeah i totally bought into that
Aiden Mourn > seems that way
j0rg > so where exactly was i being ‘sort of a dick’ then
Aiden Mourn > ….listen, I’m not going to call you a naughty student or anything if thats what youre looking for
j0rg > yeah spank me .. after the gank comes the spank
Aiden Mourn > ok, well now that I’m part of a conversation I don’t really understand and am honestly more than a little weirded out by, I’m going to take off here
j0rg > learned a good lesson today anyway .. we’ll get even in the long run but i’m sure you know that by now
Aiden Mourn > i know you want to believe that
Aiden Mourn > but you probably wont
j0rg > sure i will
Aiden Mourn > keep on chasing that one
j0rg > good gank, gank you back soon
Aiden Mourn > outlook not so good
j0rg > remember this name allrighty
Aiden Mourn > no
j0rg > sure you will
j0rg > i’m in your watch list already

Aiden Mourn > well, you’re quickly making your way to my blog
Aiden Mourn > so there’s that I suppose


Thank God vacations over and we can all go back to normal tears that don’t make me want to take a hot shower. Happy Labor Day kids.

o7,

-Aiden

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~ by Aiden Mourn on September 7, 2010.

13 Responses to “Stranger Danger”

  1. Aiden Mourn > its the butterfly effect!

    Lol

  2. Butterfly effect is a good one. New corp name: “Gank and Spank”

  3. Hilarious
    ahahahahahaha

  4. Good read.

  5. Omg, nice Chatlogs. =D

  6. Aiden Mourn > I’m helping!
    Aiden Mourn > the rats were scramming you
    Aiden Mourn > my trusty drones came to the rescue
    Aiden Mourn > now youre going to invite me into your fleet
    Aiden Mourn > its the butterfly effect!

    I can’t stop laughing at this TBH.

  7. Win.

    Any chance of a linked Ruppy of Doom fit?

  8. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Those logs made my day! That makes me want to re-sub, rep up my sec status and gank some empire people again. Bookmarking your site now…! Thx for the laughs Aiden 😀

  9. Aiden Mourn > I’m helping!
    Aiden Mourn > the rats were scramming you
    Aiden Mourn > my trusty drones came to the rescue
    Aiden Mourn > now youre going to invite me into your fleet
    Aiden Mourn > its the butterfly effect!

    I seriously almost pissed myself laughing at this part

  10. Aiden Mourn > outlook not so good

    Ganked by a magic 8 ball, hilarity!

  11. Aiden Mourn > I’m helping!
    Aiden Mourn > the rats were scramming you
    Aiden Mourn > my trusty drones came to the rescue
    Aiden Mourn > now youre going to invite me into your fleet
    Aiden Mourn > its the butterfly effect!

    Still laughing here too

  12. hehe and i actually remember posting that comment in local

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