Shit of the Week: Imma Let You Finish But Thanatos

Original killmail:

Its easy to get lost in the white noise and shuffle of the thousands upon thousands of pilots making their own waves and carving their own destinies across New Eden, and at heart, we’re all just looking for a little love; some TLC, a hug, a nod of acceptance.

Its tough to stand out in a crowd to be seen and heard, and that limelight can be a fickle beast. To put yourself on the map, you’re going to need a little star power, and nothing says “check me out” like Capital ships.

Caps are the Bentleys, Maseratis, and Rolls Royces of New Eden; flying one says you have disposable income, and you know how to make waves. They say “look at me” in the most eye-catch and view-filling way possible, and yet, as they say, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it still make a sound? Recognition is everything.

With that in mind, your goal in owning and fitting your first Thanatos should be making as big a splash as possible. This will be your “cigar in the oval office”, your “super-bowl nipple-slip”, and your “imma let you finish but” moment, all in one.

[Thanatos, Imma Let You Finish But]

Nanomechanical CPU Enhancer I
‘Collateral’ Adaptive Nano Plating I
Signal Amplifier I
Expanded Cargohold I
Pseudoelectron Containment Field I
Overdrive Injector System I

‘Umbra’ White Noise ECM
Analyzer I
Codebreaker I
Enfeebling Phase Inversion ECM I
Small Ancillary Shield Booster

Large ‘Arup’ Remote Bulwark Reconstruction
Salvager I
‘Regard’ Power Projector
Expanded Probe Launcher I, Sisters Combat Scanner Prob
Drone Link Augmentor I

Large Capacitor Control Circuit I
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I
Large Capacitor Control Circuit I

Remember, your goal here isn’t to go for one of the typical Thanatos anom/triage/travel fits, but rather to give Kim Kardashian’s publicist an aneurism. This is your shot at the big leagues with headlines of new sites, syndicated blogs, and Reddit threads; if you’re successful enough, you may even get your own meme.

The goal here is simple: create a fit that is so unavoidably eye catching and shocking, that when you set up a (API verified!) killmail of it dying to your alt/friend in a frigate, people will have no choice but to write about it! There are a number of alternate fitting options that will also work quite well, including meta 0 small guns, hull-rep mods, or electronic superiority rigs, but when choosing your specific fit, remember two very important things: 1.) You can’t put a price on infamy, and 2.) there is no such thing as bad publicity.

For maximum results, be sure you’re a member of a prominent alliance/coalition currently embroiled in headline-grabbing politics. The HBC or CFC are great options but the more polarizing and currently spotlighted the better; Tribal Band or Blood and Sand corporation are equally excellent choices at the moment.

Remember, you can’t spell “Hilton” without “sex-tape”, and an Olympic swimmer smoking a bong gave Wheaties their best quarter ever. Dare to break the mold and raise yourself from obscurity; be bold pilot.

All Shits of the Week are intended as general guidelines only.  You may not have the skills needed for this exact fit.  If you do not, feel free to randomly adjust the fit, as well as add and subtract random mods at will to suit to meet your skills and/or whims, including using meta 3 guns and “best named” defenses and e-war.  Ships can also be adjusted to use faction or dead-space modules because the more expensive a mod is in Eve, the better it is.  Each SOTW is intended as a general guide to introduce you to terrible concepts that will probably not help you fit or fly that particular, or any, type of ship even slightly well or as any remote threat to anyone but yourself.


Edit: Derp, forgot to link original KM

~ by Aiden Mourn on January 30, 2013.

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