Confessions of an AFK Mind

So, confession time.

For the better part of the past 6 months, when it comes to Eve and this blog, I’ve been totally and utterly mailing it in.

I could give the usual excuses of having a new wife, new job, and more responsibilities, and all of these are completely legitimate reasons, but they’re also excuses meant to sugarcoat and gloss over the real issue which was this:

The real deal is, I just stopped caring.

I have no idea when or really how this started, or what happened, though in hindsight I think the beginning of my downfall was the changes to Crimewatch more than a year ago, and the drifting apart of the old guard of Suddenly Ninjas. Some of us went on to do merc/gate camping nonsense, and tried to stay as a group doing something new together, but it never stuck. I took Psychotic Monk up on a generous offer to join his war dec corp, as well as Rixx Javix willingly and knowingly allowing me (yes, me) to put a suicide alt into his pirate corp, and I’m ashamed to say my participation in both was beyond abysmal. There was a certain degree of disillusionment, a bored sense of “been there, done that”, and I guess as much as I always swore it would never hit me, I had full-blown bitter-vet syndrome.

In the end, it just became easier to not log in at all, which is the mindset I’ve sort of held on to for the better part of the last 6 to even 9 months; for lack of a better term, I stopped giving a shit about Eve.

At the end of the day, I am a very different person today than I was six freaking years ago when I started playing Eve; and while that’s probably ultimately a good thing, its left me with a different mindset when it comes to Eve.

Now, am I saying all this as a precursor to a “bon voyage, thanks for everything Eve” post?

Hell no.

A day may come when I forsake my sneaky ninja ways, but it is not this day. A day may come when I shutter this truly fantastic and downright Hemmingway-inspired blog, but it is not this day. And there may come a day when I stop sending more money than I probably ought to electronically to Iceland on a tri-monthly basis, but it is NOT this day.

The purpose of this post is to say plainly, “hi, I’m here now; its all going to be ok”. To those who have for reasons beyond my understandings, continued to navigate to this blog and continued to feed it hits over the last 2-3 months of zero/bullshit mailed in posts, thank you, truly. I am an unabashed attention whore, and your hits to this blog sustain me.

I’m not going to promise you the world, and I certainly don’t have space in the life I lead today as a married 30 year old with a full time job that I did as a single 23 year old with no job prospects, but for some reason, somethings has clicked inside, and for the first time in probably a year, I find myself giddy leaving work, ready to come home and dive into New Eden. I have a new home, a new corp (more on that later), and a new outlook on having fun in this game, and though part of me cringes at the realization that I’m a 30 year old with a regular blog about pixelated internet spaceships, I can’t wait to share some new stories with you all.

Thanks again for reading.

-Aiden

~ by Aiden Mourn on January 31, 2014.