Valar Morghulis

•September 12, 2013 • 3 Comments

Its been a slow summer around here

The downside of being an entirely internet-spaceships-centric blog is that when you don’t play internet spaceships, by its very nature, the blog sort of suffers. In fairness, I spent the last month or so hammering out things professionally in my life, and after 5 fantastic years together, 2 weeks ago, I finally married the gorgeous and incredible woman who’s bewilderingly agreed that I’m a guy she wants to spend a lifetime with. So believe me when I say there are a lot of things in life that internet spaceship shenanigans absolutely pale in comparison to.

That all being said, after the festivities had died down, the ludicrous amounts of booze had been drunk (Irish-Scottish-Russian wedding anyone?), the relatives departed, and the return to normal lives, there was a familiar itch for spaceship carnage and wanton destruction. A man has a thirst, a man needs a name; valar morghulis motherfuckers.

A week or so before the wedding, I’d inserted an agent of mine into a low-to-mid-level wormhole corporation; and having spent his entire month in corp either offline or doing absolutely nothing besides being a chatterbox in corp chat, the time was ripe for some good ole fashioned betrayal. I scanned an exit, and snuck Aiden and another alt of mine in Covert Ops ships into the hole and cloaked up, and having kept a relatively decent account of typical play schedules of active members, I waited until morning my time time to spring the trap. I had no access to the CHA, and wouldn’t anytime soon, but I did have access to the 2 billion in ships in the SMA. This wasn’t going to be the worlds biggest WH heist, but it was sure going to be a fun smash and grab.

Finally, the last corp member logged off, and it was go time. With my agent in place, he flipped the shield password to one of my own, warped the two CovOps into the POS, and started tossing out ships for me and my other associate to fly out; first up were of course the the two blinged-out tech 3s, which I immediately boarded and warped to the exit.

What I’d neglected to see though was that somewhere in-between sneaking into the hole and starting the getaway, someone else in the alliance had decided to stick a large T2 bubble over the wormhole, forcing me to putter 50 or so km to the hole in an exceptionally expensive Tengu and Legion. After the longest minute of Eve, I finally popped out into Aridria lowsec, made the one jump to a station system, and dropped off my shinys; then it was time for more.

Re-entry into the WH made me realize that the bubble was going to be a serious pain in the ass; pod-creep through a large T2 bubble, in Wormhole-space, on a low-sec exit, in expensive clones, is probably one of the more unfun, nail-bitting experiences I’ve had in Eve in recent memory. So for the next trip, I grabbed two prop-less, full-damage Apocs in the SMA, and went to overheated town on the bubble as I puttered towards the exit for the second time.

With the bubble down, movement became a lot easier, and I got into a routine of trucking the 3-4 bil worth of ships (before taking stock of all the faction mods fitted) out of the POS, through the wormhole, and the one hop over to a lowsec station system, just as confusion started to bubble over in the alliance intel concerning the mysterious goings-on on d-scan…

Grimweed Bubblepot > ******* was it you moving the apocs
Grimweed Bubblepot > ******* ??????????
Grimweed Bubblepot > Alkhin Moussou hey man why are all yer ships out in yer pos?
Alkhin Moussou > ?
Alkhin Moussou > all my ships are out?
Alkhin Moussou > they shouldnt be
Grimweed Bubblepot > ******* and this guy is helping them
celladorre > *******
Grimweed Bubblepot > yep so some one has doubled daz
celladorre > yep
celladorre > i cant get into the pos either…

Ahh yes, panic and confusion…now its a party.

Seeing as I had fuel access, I decided the real crime here would be leaving the large Minmatar tower just sitting in space, so naturally, I decided the best course of action would be to empty the fuel, wait for the cycle, and pack up the tower to take with me. Unfortunately, those plans went south when I was informed that taking the tower itself down was going to take something like 15 minutes, and in WH space, with no shield, no real backup, and other members of the alliance starting to log into the hole, I decided to move fast. I couldn’t exactly access the corp hangers, but I sure could blow them up! I got my associate to lower the shields, jumped into one of our newly liberated Manticores and started lobbing torps at the hanger. Low and behold, what dropped but another large Minmatar tower!

I got my alt into one of the last ships, the very appropriately named (given the situation) “DONT TAKE” Itty V, and snagged the tower as well as other dropped POS mods and goodies, just as an alliance Bomber landed inside the now shield-less tower to witness its demise. In what was probably the most impressive pvp maneuver of my entire Eve career, I locked up the Nemesis with my point-less Manti, and started bumping it and shooting it with torps as I simultaneously managed to get my 2-billion-laden Itty V into alignment and out towards the exit. I’m pretty sure the other pilot’s utter awe at my pr0 use of horrible piloting and bomber bumps facilitated that getaway.

A handful of stolen ships; props to what I hope are Ian Curtis references

And now, for some more fun…

There is a part of the abomination that is the POS management screen that allows you to see all POSs under control of your corporation; yup, apparently even the highsec one in Heimatar space no one knows about. Though I’d intended to stay in the hole a little longer to see what happened, I realized that the prospect of another pinata to wack at was much more enticing. I had my agent head out into K-space and make a beeline for the tower 45 jumps away.

The medium Minmatar tower in Emolgranlan didn’t have much I could lay my hands on; mostly just research labs that I had no access to, and subsequently, couldn’t pack up as they were full of things. I did set about changing the POS password though, about 2 minutes before they finally logged on a director and revoked my agent’s POS roles; some people just hate fun.

Two days later, then 3, then 5, then almost a week after the initial heist however, my agent was still somehow in corp. And if my calculations based off my last eyeballing of the fuel levels before roles were stripped were correct, the shield was going to drop soon, giving the corp back access to the tower and, presumably, keeping me out. No shield however, made the labs open to attack, and as my agent was one to keep his hands clean of unsavory things like corp-on-corp violence, I immediately war-deced the alliance with a 1-man alt corp.

Sure enough, I logged in the next day to find the CEO himself back inside the shields, most likely emptying the hangers, and I could assume the tower had been dully refueled. My agent, somehow apparently, still had tower access though; time for phase 2. I logged on my wardec toon, had my agent drop the shields (fun fact: you don’t need roles for that if you’re in the corp!*), and warped in a Talos for some shooty-shooty. My agent scooped the labs and advanced labs that the CEO had been kind enough to empty, and I set about blastering the other ones in the face with my other toon. After scooping the rest of the defenses that I could (again, no tower scooping while its full of fuel), I sat back with a grin on my face.

Nothing else came of the dec, and finally, two days after THAT, my agent was eventually booted from corp. Finding creative and warp-stabbed ways of trucking out the 30-odd ships and few billion worth of large-sized loot out of deep Aridria low-sec was the next fun part, but thats a story for another time never.

Again, not the worlds biggest WH heist, but a chance to cause a little chaos, make 6 billion, and get away with your hands clean is always a good day.

-Aiden

 

*Stealth Edit: There’s now some confusion about whether or not you need roles to take down tower shields. Further testing after this event has shown that you do, and yet my agent definitely had no roles when he was able to accomplish this (I double checked since I was shocked that I could). One idea is that its tied to titles, especially for a WH corp, but if anyone has any light to shine on this, speak up.

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Seppuku

•August 5, 2013 • 11 Comments

This guy takes internet spaceships WAY more seriously than you do

In ancient feudal Japan, when the ways of the Samurai ruled the land, honor went a long way; indeed, the writings and teaching of that time gave us the notions of bushido and “warrior code” that are still talked about, ad nauseum, by annoying Eve players to this day. Honor counted for so much back then that warriors who were captured by the enemy, or felt they had tarnished their honor or code, were encouraged to take their own life as a display of fealty to the bushido code by way of committing Seppuku, or hara-kiri; because what better way to do cleanse your tarnished honor than by ritualistically and horrendously disemboweling yourself with your own sword in front of an assembly of on-lookers?

In Eve, you’re bound to come across players who take the ideas of “e-honor” and “e-bushido” far, FAR more seriously than is probably warranted in a video game. Amusingly, these players also tend to be the most fun to mess with, as their reaction to those not playing the game “their way” tend to be the most extreme and hardline, which is to say, fun.

Luckily, to every point, there is a counterpoint, and thats just what I am; the counterpoint. Pushing extreme and super-serious players towards their own breaking point is what I do best, and I like to think that my actions keeps the game balanced, and while I’m sure saying the word “fun” here will ruffle some feathers, lets just say they keeps things “not serious and terrible”.

This turned into a little bit of a long one, and I’m rambling now, so here’s a quick TL;DR to wet your appetite and then lets start at the beginning:

TL;DR: I awox a corp and push their Orca pilot so far over the edge he murders his own Hulk and Concords his Orca.

…yeah, you’re going to want to read this one.

Call Me Ahab:

Many a moon ago, in the days of less well-read carebears and ridiculous in-game aggro mechanics, it was realized by a few of us that some of the same aggro-spreading bait tricks that we used on mission runners could be turned around and used to hilarious effect killing Orcas (as a side note, I’m not one to disclose “industry” secrets, but rule #5 of the official Ninja Code of Secrets clearly states “thou shalt not disclose intimate details of sneaky abuse of game mechanics unless said mechanic no longer exists”, so I’m opening the book on this one). Back then, since aggro was person-to-person, or person to corp instead of this global “suspect” flag we have now, the following scenario played out like a fine concerto.

First, in a safe-spot somewhere, you would have your main jet a can, and then have your un-fleeted (fleeting negated aggro) Orca pilot, while flying an Orca, take from your can, thereby giving you aggro rights on him/her. Using this now CONCORD-sanction aggression right, your main would then shoot at your Orca (always a slightly off-putting feeling) and bring it into armor before stopping. The Orca pilot would then warp into a belt where a previously scouted target Orca was mining and begin approaching them while opening a convo. Should they accept, the basic story fed to them would be something to the effect of “oh man, I totally went afk in a belt and these rats got me into armor! LOL, glad I heard the alarms and came back!”; the next step was asking for help.

If they had remote shield/armor reps already fitted (a lot of mining fleet Orcas do actually fit one to help defend their fleet against rats) or rep drones in the hold, all the better. If not, then you being the prepared boyscout you are conveniently had some in your drone-bay that you’d be happy to abandon for them to scoop if they’d be willing to rep you up a little (you know, those station fees for repairs are SO expensive!).

I think we all know where this goes from here, but basically, when someone agreed to help you and started digging their own grave repping your criminally-flagged Orca, they now had a direct line of aggression back to you, without even realizing it. As soon as those helpful reps landed on your Orca, you’d warp your main in, point the target Orca which was of course now blinky red to you, and lay on the hurt. It may sound complex, but this worked a staggering number of times.

Times have changed though, and the above way of hunting the great whales of New Eden is no longer viable. However, with my new-found taste for infiltration and awoxing, I’ve been back to hunting whales; voraciously. In fact I’ve gotten about 1 or 2 a week pretty consistently over the past 2 months. The specifics of the method I’ll keep under wraps, but suffice to say, its really not that complex, and basically involves a lot of talking, a lot of bullshitting, and a whole lot of stabbing in the back. Suck it, bushido.

Killik Twilight:

When I first came across Killik Twilight, I knew we were going to be fast friends: multiple mining barges and a big shiny Orca out at an ice anomaly harvesting away, and a very welcoming recruitment pitch. I immediately put in an application, and later that day, was accepted. As I prepared my attack for the next ice respawn, as is wont to happen to easily distracted agents of chaos such as myself, I found MORE potential new friends! Because I just can’t say no to a quick Orca kill, I applied immediately to the new corp, was accepted instantly, and was happily spitting antimatter charges at the side of their Orca within about 90 seconds of applying.

About an hour later, my ADD side-project complete with the whale slain and my corp history looking even more terrible, I noticed one of the directors of Killik logging in, and if there’s one thing you take away from CCP game trailers, its this:  “dare to be bold pilot”. And bold I was; I put in a second app in as many days with Killik, and once again, astoundingly, was accepted. I watched the one online member log out towards the end of their corps time-zone, and I plotted.

I didn’t have to wait long. The very next day, while on my way with a different alt to scout their favorite ice system, opportunity knocked harder than I could have possibly expected; my logi alt (who of course had Killik marked in his overview), spotted the Killik Orca pilot, in an Obelisk, motoring towards a market hub. I scrambled to refit for reps, and get my little boxcutter there as fast as possible, but sadly, with the Obelisk only 4 jumps out from its clearly market-hub destination (and not autopiloting), my shooter 12 jumps away, and no means of grabbing a bumping ship that quickly, I could only watch in dismay as my prize docked safely.

Stewing about missing my potential Obelisk kill I decided to crack a beer, put on a movie, and camp out the corps home station in hopes of the ice belt respawning.

Finally, the ice anomaly returned, they undocked, and neutral eyes watched them head right to it; lovely. In what has become reflexive muscle memory at this point, I moved neutral logi into position near the Orca, hit accept on my pending corp invite, undocked, warped directly to the logi and laid down the pew-pew. I locked up both my new friends, and very quickly brought the Hulk to about half structure before pulling DPS and attempting to negotiate demands in corp chat.

Solaras Sion, my Orca target, wasn’t biting though. After telling me where I could put my own fist in no uncertain terms, Sion effectively told me negotiations were over. I kept working on the Orca though, while keeping the Hulk pinned, thinking that maybe the pressure of having over a billion isk in ships both in structure would bring out his inner hostage negotiator.

And then, magic happened.

Apparently sensing the end was near, Sion, like a bushido warrior of old, decided to go full Samurai and commit Seppuku, in grand fashion. While pinging away at the Orca, I suddenly watched the Hulk vanish in a blaze of fire right next to me with no warning. I’d been keeping an eye on my open log and had seen no self-destruct message, but I put that question aside as I seized the opportunity to lock up the Hulk’s pod and give him a fast track to station. As I switched back to the Orca, suddenly:

…wait did he just?

Yes, yes he did. Sion, giving absolutely zero fucks, knocked off his safety and sent his drones at my neutral logi, resulting in what I think is the first time I’ve ever seen an Orca get CONCORDed. Sion did manage to quickly get his pod out, and with that, I was suddenly alone in the belt and attempting to process what I had just witnessed. Finally, my Orca friend started talking, and it was then that I realized the full glory of the situation: Sion had murdered his own Hulk WITH HIS ORCA. I scrambled to the corp losses tab to preserve my new unicorn of killmails for glorious posterity:

Channel Name:    Belligerent Undesirables

boxcutter alt > holy shit
boxcutter alt > he killed the hulk
boxcutter alt > with the orca
boxcutter alt > ….
-redacted- > wut
-redacted #2- > wait…. what?
boxcutter alt > Solaras Sion > there you get nothing
boxcutter alt > hes wrong
boxcutter alt > i’ve got so many memories now
-redacted #3- > but seriously, congratulations on permanently damning that pilot from ever being able to be recruited by any reputable corporation.

Lets recap:

* Corp sends invite to absurdly obvious AWOXer to join corp
* Obvious AWOXer becomes more obvious by joining a different corp for a total of 2 hours before re-applying.
* said AWOXer warps in on mining op and locks down Hulk and Orca, both the same person.
* instead of negotiating a ransom of any kind, said person decids to mercy-kill his own Hulk using his Orca
* taking things from Defcon 2 to 1, Orca then turns his drones (apparently on purpose?) on a neutral ship, ensuring he goes down in a blaze of glory/mind-boggling stupidity.

But Wait, There’s More!:

The more savvy readers amongst you are probably already screaming this, but there’s one more fun tidbit here: under Crimewatch 2.0, having shot at my neutral logi, Solaras, Sion, a confirmed Orca and Obelisk pilot, gave my logi pilot killrights. Sadly, though I’ve waited over a month to publish this post in hopes stumbling into an incredible part 2, none of my alts, nor any of the people I recruited to help keep an open saw Sion log in ONCE since, which though I hate to say, really does improve my opinions of him. Its maybe not “making-up-for-awoxing-your-own-hulk-and-concording-your-orca” smart, but its certainly a start!

-Aiden

Time Flies

•July 31, 2013 • 4 Comments

I have a truly great post lined up to finish editing tonight, meant to be posted tomorrow, but it’s suddenly dawned on me that I have zero posts so far for this month. While I am far from being the most prolific Eve blogger around, I’m also certainly not least either; I’ve made it a point of pride that even in slow periods, I’ve made at least one post a month around here. So, as not to break that seemingly arbitrary, and yet somewhat meaningful record, here’s a sweet picture of a Rupture schematic (one of my favorite ships), and a link to the full album.

 

Totally awesome full album can be found here.

Its been a busy summer, and I’m getting married in about 4 weeks, so bear with me. So, to recap: thanks for reading, enjoy the spaceship-pr0n, check back tomorrow for a real post.

 

Hugs and kisses,

-Aiden

In Defense of the Dark Side

•June 27, 2013 • 7 Comments

“Let’s have a toast for the douchebags,
Let’s have a toast for the assholes,
Let’s have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know”

 

Yesterday, I posted a guide I’d been tweaking for quite awhile on exploiting social dynamics and mechanisms to insert yourself into a group in Eve. Though I made note that the guide could be used for basically any recruitment purposes, I did add a large caveat that it was of course more than slightly slanted towards nefarious intentions; this is merely a product of who I am and who I’ve always been in Eve, which is to say, a thief, a spy, an assassin, and generally a sneaky ne’er-do-well.

In response to my twitter blast about the new guide, Kuda Timberline (@KudaTimberline) had the following to say:

I did end up responding a bit on twitter, but as I said to Kuda, a serious question deserves a serious answer, and those have ways of going over 140 character limits. Instead, I’d like to take a moment to respond to Kuda in full here on this blog (as a side note for those confused at the above, I’d initially quickly read and interpreted Kuda’s question as “do you think this sort of behavior is bad for the game”, hence my “no” response.)

Before I begin though, I’d like to lay down that I actually have a lot of respect for Kuda, and this is merely a defense of my opinion of things. Kuda isn’t wrong about anything he said to me on twitter, we merely have opposing viewpoints on the issue, which is a good thing. Opposing viewpoints by two rational and well spoken individuals sparks healthy debate, which again, is a good thing! And so, because I felt his honest and erstwhile question deserved an equally honest answer: my response.

As I said to Kuda during our brief twitter banter, the short answer is “No, I don’t think this sort of behavior and blogging about it is bad for the game”; quite the contrary, I think it inspires healthy balance.

As I’ve said before on this blog, the character I play in Eve is just that, a character. This has been echoed by others, including The Mittani, when charged with being a “murdering evil psychopath in real life” based on their exploits in a video game. The truth of it is though, even if we profess to not be “silly roleplayers”, we’re all playing a role to a certain extent. In the real world, strange as it may sound, I don’t actually mug and assault random strangers at their jobs, steal their cars, extort money from them, and then murder them in front of their family and co-workers. Likewise, I’ve never been a part of a pyramid scheme (unless you count helping a friends daughter sell girl-scout cookies; that shit is a racket), or applied to a job with the intention of blowing everyone away at the first project meeting.

Incidentally, some of the most ruthless shitbags I’ve ever known in this game are amazingly nice people out of it: EMT’s, elementary school teachers, doctors, policemen, servicemen, a battered women’s home director, and even a guy who helps start NGO’s that create food banks for war orphans in the Middle East. I won’t tell you who they are, but it would probably make your head spin to know what some of the biggest, cockiest, and more famous scumbags in internet spaceships are capable of out in the real world.

Thus, in a way, even if we aren’t spending our days chatting in Amarrian scripture, decrying the lewd ways of the Gallente, or excluding pilots from our fleet and coms because they’re flying Caldari, we’re all “role-playing” to a certain degree; some of us just happen to play “the bad guy”.

We also all play “our game” in the manner in which we want to; if you aren’t, you’re doing something very wrong and should probably re-evaluate why you’re paying to play this game. The beauty of Eve comes from the sheer size and scope of it; to some, “playing” Eve means blowing through missions faster or wracking up isk to pimp their Golem a bit more, to others its streamlining their production lines or cornering that niche market in Jita. To me, playing Eve is outsmarting and out-thinking worthy (and a lot of the time, unworthy) opponents; that’s where I get my thrill.

In my response to Kuda on twitter, I made mention that trickery and deceit are “another facet to pvp”; Kuda called me out on this:

I’m in no way saying that awoxing is “real pvp” in the sense of the “PvP”, “honor fights”, or even “gud fites” as most might define it, but I am saying its another very legitimate facet of a “player versus player” interaction; call it akin to culling the low-hanging fruit. In war, a smart force will go after their enemies’ supply lines and their factories; the soft targets which are usually less effort for a more maximum damaging effect. To a certain degree, when I’ve targeted a new corp to scam or awox, I’m declaring war on them; they just don’t know it. Scamming them hits them in their wallets and has a way of obliterating morale, and going after corp Orcas and mining barges is equally low effort for maximum damage.

In the above, Kuda makes note that awoxing uses “game mechanics to make sure your victims are defenseless”, to which I say, “of course!” Using game mechanics to your advantage isn’t dirty, cheap, or underhanded, its intelligent. To me, it holds little difference to say, a nullsec gang using scouts, bubbles, and gates to split-up and disorganize an enemy gang before attacking, to assure maximum offense against minimal defense. When we use the same basic principal of “outsmart and outwit your enemy” in the context of corp infiltration and attacking from within, it gets labeled “underhanded” or “disgraceful”, because it hits close to home at the very basic core concept of Eve: trust.

In order to even undock, we need to have at least a modicum of trust that those we fly with have our back, or at the very least, aren’t aiming for it. The reason awoxing/safariing gets people riled up is because it introduces MAJOR doubt to the idea that a corp is a family, and family protects its own. The problem is, most people in Eve equate “joining  a corp” with “joining a family”; typically the second you hit “accept” and pop up in corp chat, suspicion drops and trust skyrockets. It is implied that you are now “one of them”, even if no one there has talked to you longer than 5 minutes, has no idea who you are or really what you do besides what you’ve briefly mentioned in said 5 minute conversation, or what your intentions are. That’s where the breakdown happens; “implied trust”.

No repercussions for corp-on-corp violence exists; its a thing, and its one more facet of Eve that gives it its darker edge and cutthroat image. If you bring someone into your corp to fly with you, the possibility exits that they could be wolf and sheep’s clothing, with intentions to stab you in the back. Luckily, guarding against this scenario takes the most minute amount of effort on corps’ parts, such as not accepting random blank applications to corp from strangers during a mining operation for instance.

At the end of the day, we all need to have some sort of trust, which is why even scumbags like awoxers, scammers, and thieves have their own code of conduct; to do any of these things knowingly to a fellow “bad guy” is considered taboo, and grounds for ostracization as a pariah. Because even we need to have some sort backbone of social currency, for without it, the whole thing becomes a boring, paranoid, single player game.

Many thanks to Kuda for bringing this up yesterday, it made for a fun post to think about.

-Aiden

 

Fake edit: after writing this, I realized I wrote a fairly similar post (“The Way You Are Playing Is a Reflection On How You Really Live Your Life“) about this same subject almost exactly 2 years ago! Funny how this discussion continues!

 

p.s. I promise, that is the one and only time a Kanye West quote will ever appear on this blog.

Picking Up Nerds: A Guide to Seducing Eve Players

•June 26, 2013 • 3 Comments

Part 1:

Originally, this guide began its life as a “how to infiltrate a corp” type walkthrough, but soon enough, its scope became much larger than that. For one, there are already more than a few fantastic guides on how to simply get into a corp in Eve, and honestly, if your intentions in joining one are to inflict wanton chaos and destruction, simply cold applying to handfuls of corps at a time is both minimal effort and ridiculously easy. Furthermore, this guide will not go into the specifics of how to choose a target or ideal corp to infiltrate/join, as it assumes you’ve already figured that part out on your own, based on your own goals or intended targets. Instead, this is going to discuss the deeper psychological and social dynamics of human interactions as they pertain to trust and acceptance in Eve Online. From that angle, we’re going to cover not just how to get into a corp, but how to get a corp to jump through hoops to woo you into joining, as well as how to make yourself indispensable once you have.

Eve, by the very definition of it being a massive multiplayer online game, is a highly social experience. And as humans, with vocal cords, a frontal lobe, opposable thumbs, a written language, and the internet, we are all by default and by varying degrees, social creatures. As such, we all crave interaction and reciprocation, even the seemingly anti-social introverts (closing off from and avoiding social interaction is a defense mechanism meant to encourage the more extroverted to enter into the introvert’s reality, but that begins to delve into more psychology and sociology than this guide is probably going to get into). Exploiting this natural trend towards social companionship and trust is the first order of business.

To a certain degree, the ability or inability to socially interact well with others is a trait you learned (or didn’t) at a very early age; another school of thought would be that social navigational skills are something you’re either born with or without. Regardless, my own opinion is that learned or not, genetically coded with or without, its a trait and ability that can be picked up and improved on, which is the premise this guide hangs on.

Whatever your intentions may be (though fair warning, this will be more than slightly skewed towards those with nefarious intentions), this, the first chapter of this guide, will primarily cover approaching, befriending, and seducing your way into any corporation in Eve.

 

Pre-Reqs:

To take a step back from Eve for a second, there are two books you should read, though both recommendations come with my own caveat.

The first one is Robert Greene’s “The 48 Laws of Power”. Taking cues from the teachings and lives of historical power-magnates, from Machiavelli and Sun Tzu to PT Barnum and Henry Kissinger, Greene’s book literally defines and lays out power in 48 “laws” such as “Conceal your intentions” (#3), “Pose as a friend, work as a spy” (#14), or “Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal” (#31); if you can’t see the application this holds for Eve Online, you should stop reading now and go take a hard look at the game you’re playing.

The caveat here is that “48 Laws” needs to be taken as a referential cross-section of anthropological and sociological history, not a guide-book. Greene’s book is NOT about how to make friends or encourage relationships, and he makes absolutely no bones about this. Internalizing this book and owning it entirely will will teach you to disregard human relationships, alienate friends, be suspicious of loved ones, and will in short turn you into a bitter and calculating asshole; take it with a giant grain of salt.

The other book, which this guide will actually more directly draw from, is Neil Strauss’s “The Game”.

Drawing heavily on “The 48 Laws of Power”, “The Game” is a sort of pop-autobiographical guide/story of one man’s transformation from loser to Lothario by way of discovering and delving into the secret online world of the the pick-up artist. From basic physical and style make-overs to approaching 1,000 strangers over a 48 hour period, to mastering hypnosis, word pattern emotional associations, and handwriting analysis, Strauss very precisely breaks down the art of seduction in almost a mathematical equation where simply knowing exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it, will always mean 1 + 1 = laid.

At its best moments, “The Game” and its subject material is benignly sexist; at worst, disturbingly misogynistic with an added flair of rampant dehumanization and predatory encouragement. Still, the application towards internet spaceships should be obvious here as well (for an added wtf layer, after reading about Neil’s adventures in dating 5 women at the same time, orchestrating threesomes at a whim, and picking up Brittney Spears, go youtube the bald, diminutive, lispy-voiced man behind the book and pick your jaw off the floor).

As I mentioned earlier, Eve is a hugely social-based game, and as such, the applications of power, seduction, and socio-emotional control are as much a part of the game as loading ammo into your guns; if you don’t believe me, look around and tell me if you’re in charge of anything more that choosing yes or no on your next agent mission request.

In addition to these two books, there are two Eve guides to infiltration and social engineering that I’d highly suggest reading: Psychotic Monk’s “Some Advice on Scamming“, and Paul Clavet’s “Playing the Spy” (slightly outdated at this point but completely mandatory reading).

 

The Approach:

I’ve spent the better part of my 5 years in Eve thus far, and for mostly ill-willed intentions, approaching, applying to, and getting into a LOT of corporations. In my own experiences, as well as seeing the attempts of others, what I’ve found is that a lot of times, you end up trying to sell yourself to a corp; consciously or not, the recruiter and his/her corp are viewed as the reality, and you are trying to enter into that reality. Step 1: stop it.

The mindset you need is that this is your game, and others are there merely interacting with your experience. In a game as broad and massively multiplayer as Eve, this is of course completely and utterly untrue, but its a state of mind and an internal mantra that you need to have in the initial approach. Remember, this is YOUR game, and YOUR reality; make them come into it. Instead of trying to prove yourself or your worth to a potential target, reverse that. Demonstrate your worth, and make them prove their worth to you; you have nothing to “prove” to anyone. The important thing to remember is that in this recruiter-recruit relationship, you are the commodity, which is to say, the corp needs you, not the other way around.

This is admittedly a bit of a hard-line mindset, and is itself an assertion of self confidence and bravado that you may not have. If you want practice (and I recommend it), create a blank alt, and spend 2 days talking to as many people in Eve as you possibly can. Actually, here’s a goal: talk to 50.

Now what this doesn’t mean is “go start 50 in-game convos that you leave hanging and speak 3 words with someone before they grow bored and leave”. This means have 50 real, genuine conversations with people, where your goal is simply to shed any an all trepidation you may have surrounding talking to strangers in a video game. You’re not looking for 50 corp invites, or even one for that matter; what you’re looking for is ease of interaction. Hang out in the mission help channel, or Exploration, or an Incursion community channel and talk about anything you want: mining, mission advice, real-world news, your favorite movie, etc. Be whoever you want; invent a backstory and a game history, invent a preposterous “I was there” story or a ludicrous real life persona. Your goal here is to make fake friends, and what you want ideally is to do this so well that the other person adds you as a contact. We’ll get back to that though.

Now, back to the recruitment. Begin vaguely, and never with a direct approach. Your first few minutes of conversation shouldn’t even touch on the subject of recruitment or you joining the corp, even if its the obvious impetus for your conversation request. Instead, use that time to put your “talk to 50 people” practice into effect; make a friend.

Have an opener ready; a made-up funny story or question that initiates a rapport and creates an implied bond:

“Wow, man, I need to pay attention to overview better, just about lost my Retriever to belt rats there!”

“What am I up to? Oh not much, working on grinding through The Blockade…I always mess up those triggers!”

“Woah, getting targeted by strangers outside Dodixie m20 station…always freaks me out.”

Everyone has had these experiences, or at least ones like them, and your sole intention in opening with them is to frame your interaction with a fake yet shared experience. Again, we all need and desire human interaction and validation and except maybe in the extreme cases, we’re all playing a massive mulitplayer game for a reason. Creating an implied emotional bond by way of a shared experience, whether they’re aware of it or not, has the effect of cracking that first natural human defense barrier, and suggests to the brains emotional response system that you are no longer a stranger, but at least an acquaintance.

 

Setting the Frame:

Now that you’re on friendly terms with a recruiter, you get to the meat of the interaction: what you do, what you’re looking for, and why you should be in this corp. You do this by framing every situation around yourself, and if this sounds obnoxiously egotistical, its because it is.

Socially, whoever has the strongest reality, or situational frame, has a way of dominating the collective interaction. What this tends to mean in basic terms is that the loudest, boldest, and strongest personality in the room usually frames the way everyone else views that current state. Again, “tends to” are the key words there, since the smartest, most calculating personality in the room has a way of dominating it as well; over-the-top volume or boldness is simply a tool used to achieve those ends. Loud people do have a way of dominating the frame, but only because of the physicality of their presence; learn to be able to easily figure out what tool works best with each scenario and with which person and persona, and you will set the frame every time.

Develop a rapport: this means trust + comfort. In the real world, trust is usually earned, though in Eve this is seldom the case (people, especially recruiters, really ought to start insisting on it though). Instead, in Eve trust is usually implied, suggested, wrapped up with a bow in a beautiful lie, or most commonly (and hilariously), assumed. “Comfort” is simply your ability to set someone at ease by using body language, voice tone, wording and phrasing, demonstration of value, and an easy framing of the situation. In layman’s terms, “comfort” is your ability to be likable.

To me (“me” = me the person/human being, not the Eve character), the comfort part comes easy, not just because I’m good at lying, but because I’m naturally a likable person; I enjoy and I’m good at reading and talking to people and I’m at ease in most social situations. This isn’t bravado or self-aggrandizing, that’s simply my own natural human character. If you aren’t good at these things, (be honest; I’m looking at you neck-beard) you can and should work on them for much more than their practical applications in internet spaceships. But, an interface like a video game that lets you socially interact in real-time with others while hiding behind the facade of an avatar is certainly a great place to start.

Setting the frame involves a liberal amount of stretched truths, if not outright lies. Again, this guide may be slanted towards the idea of “infiltrating” a corp, but even if you’re honestly trying to get into a corp for their great mining boosts or ratting space, a little white lie or stretched truth never hurt anyone; hell, people do this on real world resumes every day.

 

Demonstrating Worth and Owning the Situation:

“I’m a mackinaw pilot, I’m into industry, and I’ve got great Gallente faction standings”

Bad. With no preliminary intel, you’ve just pigeonholed yourself. Possible responses now may include “oh, well we’re based out of Caldari” or, “Oh dang, we were looking for a Fenrir pilot to fly our corp Freighter” or “yeah not many indy pilots, but we do a lot of L4s and incursions, too bad this wont work”. Adding in a hasty “oh, yeah, I also fly/do that” looks desperate and needy at best,  if not downright suspicious.

Instead, you want to start vague and move to towards specificality only as that information is inadvertently revealed to you; this is what street-side fortune tellers call “cold reading”. Volunteer information only as it is volunteered to you and you will appear to be the ideal candidate for any and every situation:

“Well we’re thinking about moving the whole corp to null-sec but need to work out the logistics of moving first”

You reply with:

“Oh very cool. Yeah logistics can be tricky, I use to jump around in my Anshar a lot when I was in null”.

This volunteers information without you directly volunteering your services. You haven’t said anything like “oh, give me all your stuffs and I can move it!”, you’ve merely implied, thinly, that you are a possibly solution to a problem; this is called demonstrating worth. Whats even better in the above scenario is that you never approached them as a jump freighter pilot out-right. By revealing that information, subtly, by way of a conversational direction they initiated, you have also subtly empowered them into a subconscious (or even highly conscious, depending on the ego) idea that they themselves “discovered” this solution to their problem; who says inception is just a movie?

Demonstrating worth and making others qualify themselves to you are how you frame your reality as THE reality, and put the situation firmly in the palm of your hand. A corp that isn’t API checking will believe almost anything you tell them about yourself as a character, especially if you’ve done your research. Lying will get you the moon, in Eve, sometimes literally, if you do it right.

Have a fake story, but don’t make it so involved and detail-heavy that you end up tripping on it yourself later. You want to imply and suggest a intensely interesting personal back-story and knowledge-base, not convince them of it; they’ll convince themselves enough wanting to learn your implied wisdom of the ages. Remember to be vague enough that you remain interesting, yet not so much that you seem aloof and inhuman. Be unique and yet just another face in the crowd at the same time. When creating a fake back-story for a spy or awoxer, I usually keep a small dossier note going to keep track of what I’ve said I’ve done and can do.

 

Sidenote – APIs:

Where stretching the truth or lying can get you in trouble is with API checks; these are the cock-blocks of the Eve recruitment dating scene. If your target corp does them, you have a few options. For one, you can just let them do it. Again, if you’re really just looking for a good mining corp as a genuine miner, you’ve got nothing to hide, and if anything, it will create another shared bond of trust between you and your corp.

Your second option is to hem and haw and generally try and weasel your way out of it:

“I’ve heard people like Goons use that information to hack your account”

“I’d rather not; as a trader, my transactions and contacts are somewhat private”

“I’m really not comfortable with that. I can definitely send you screenshots of my login screen and links to my killboard though” (NO ONE is going to actually take you up on a screenshot).

Be aware that in any case, attempting to dodge what is essentially what pick up artists would call a “shit test” (a measured test to try and suss out bullshit) will immediately trigger suspicion and defense from your mark. Ideally, you try and sidestep it tactfully and gracefully enough to mitigate that suspicion, but a little is unavoidable.

Your third option when presented with a shit test like asking for an API is to avoid the discussion, create some more banter, and gracefully extract yourself from the conversation. Use anything but the API request as an excuse to leave (“my wife needs me”, “my kids just got home”, “my comp is acting strange, brb”), and go start again somewhere else.

Remember, if you DO have evil intentions and/or are outright lying, an API WILL uncover this; kills will show up, the fact that you can actually only fly a gank Catalyst when you mentioned you could fly a Mackinaw, suspicious wallet transactions to an obvious alt, and pretty much everything else that will sink your boat. If you’re hiding something, don’t do an API. In any case, if you’re up to no good, the corp that wants you to jump through hoops isn’t the corp you ideally want to be trying to infiltrate anyways. In a later section of this guide, I’ll go over ways of keeping an alt off the books and clean, where an API check is unavoidable.

 

Sealing the Deal:

Remember our little exercise where you were going to talk to 50 people, and the goal was that they add you as a contact? Here’s where that comes into relevance. After you’ve talked with a recruiter, or spoken to the group in their public channel, your green-light goal is to be invited to join, not to ask. Even if it only registers at a deep, deep subconscious level, you outright asking to come into their little world is an attack, and has the potential to trigger defense. An invitation however, is a sign that you’ve passed every conscious or unconscious test they’ve thrown your way, and that you have been accepted as an equal.

 

If this guide so far sounds way bigger and loftier than internet spaceships, its because in a way, it is. As mentioned before as well as in the title of this post, this is ultimately a guide to seduction and inter-personal validation; I’ve just applied it to Eve. In fact, with enough self confidence, a good haircut, and the right shoes (gentlemen, sandals are for the beach; unless you live on a tropical island, stop wearing them out to dinner), this guide almost in its exact wording could probably get you a phone number or two as well.

In a further chapter of this guide, we’ll move forward from application and acceptance into cementing your position in a corp and making yourself indisposable, as well as fun tricks like orchestrating an experience, isolating a target, and sowing discontent without implicating yourself.

 

 

-Aiden

Wrath of The Box-Cutter Hero

•June 2, 2013 • 7 Comments

I’ve been having a lot of fun recently with what I’ve been referring to as a “Box-Cutter Hero”, which is to say, a minimally skilled throwaway alt trained for the sole purpose of causing as much destruction and anarchy as possible in the shortest amount of training. The skillplan is effectively the same as the old Goonswarm “10-hour hero” suicide Catalyst training plan, which nets you a 200-ish DPS Catalyst pilot in under 12 hours of training, and the name stuck after reading Psychotic Monk refer to this type of Catalyst as just that:

As a highsec criminal, think of these destroyers as your box cutters. While they may not be appropriate for much more serious business endeavors, they can certainly kill the fuck out of basically everything.

 

And indeed, with around 12 hours of training, and some pretty simple t1 logi support, you can murder the shit out of whole lot of stuff. Plus, nothing say disgrace like getting your Tengu, Orca, Mackinaw, or Freighter ganked by 316k skillpoints in t1 Destroyer.

With these little box cutters, I’ve been trying for main goals: killing the most expensive things I can get my hands on, and killing them as quickly as possible.

The first one I use as a basis for which corps I join. Rather than simply joining anyone and seeing what I get out of the grab-bag (which nevertheless is always pretty amusing), I tend to seek out and go after targets specifically because of what I’ve seen them flying: Freighters, Orcas, pimped-out mission ships etc. A nice payout or drop is always a good thing, but I also do this almost in the same way big-game hunters go after what they hunt; the trophy KM and bragging rights.

I also like to see how fast I can nab targets after joining, and most of that bit has to do with notoriety. Even with a throwaway shooter, after a few jobs, your former CEO’s seem to start going out of their way to find out where you are and warn your new corpmates. More than a day with that kind of heat and baggage attached to your toon is a sure-fire way to get kicked with no warning after an uppity and butthurt ex-CEO sees you’ve found new employment, but I’ve also been booted in less than 20 minutes from a corp before I even got the chance to go after anything.

But besides dodging the heat, I also go for speed for the same reasons I go after higher-value targets; the thrill of the hunt and trying to one-up myself.

And so, I had stalked out Winfield Star-Tech for about two weeks after seeing them ice mining with an Orca, but since then, a busy reverse-safari schedule on another character of mine, and a wardec on Winfield Star-Tech’s side of things prevented me from getting any further. Finally though, after spying them out on a massive ice-mining op complete with Orca, I was able to get in some slick words, some bashful noobish eye-batting, and some calculated flattery, and got that magic “welcome to corp” mail.

Cole Winfield > *** ***** welcome to the corp mate
*** ***** > \o/
Hermon Hammerer > \☺

My remote reps were in place, my targets (Orca, at least one Mackinaw) were selected, and I prepared to undock and warp to the gate leading to the ice mining op in the adjacent system, when this absolute gem popped up in corp chat:

Gormless Twatt > second orca here folks. help yourself to storing

I will help myself, thanks! I Jumped the gate, warped to my optimally-positioned logi, and immediately locked up both Orcas.

*** ***** > hey guys
*** ***** > thanks
Squid Snot > why are you warp scramming me?
Gormless Twatt > i am being scrambled
*** ***** > its like a hug!
Squid Snot > stop or i will blow you up
*** ***** > who doesnt like hugs?
Cole Winfield > depends what the hug leads onto 🙂
*** ***** > surprise! hugs, best hugs
Gormless Twatt > *** *****
*** ***** > ya
Gormless Twatt > ur shooting me
*** ***** > i am?
*** ***** > hugs!
*** ***** > oh, and also 500mil to save the orca
*** ***** > womp womp
Gormless Twatt > what?
Gormless Twatt > ffs
*** ***** > a paltry amount
*** ***** > but seriously
*** ***** > 500mil
*** ***** > per orca guys

It seems every time I hear about hear or read about someone else pulling these types of shenanigans, they manage to walk away with big sacks full of ransom iskies. I, however, seem to have a knack for finding the cheapest, poorest, and worst negotiators in all of New Eden to try and ransom. Try as I might, I couldn’t get anyone to even start negotiating, so I made the call and popped both as quickly as possible.


^^Now with bonus Mackinaw!
 

Fortunately, this turned out to be a suave move, because not 30 seconds after the 2nd Orca went down, a corp Scimitar popped on grid and started saving Mackinaws. Bizarrely, even before the logi showed up, the ENTIRE mining op stayed completely still and kept on mining while I exploded 2 Orcas and scrammed 2 Mackinaws around them. Some people…

With only 250-ish DPS coming out of my Catalyst, the Scimitar turned out to be the hero of the day, but with some fast target switching, I was able to nab a Thrasher and a Retriever before reps could land, as well as a 2nd Thrasher and his pod when he went GCC on one of my logis (improvised kill-report: http://imgur.com/a/3Eesl ).

Slowly but surely though, DPS on grid started to get higher and higher, and in a 2-point Catalyst with no prop-mod, I wasn’t going to catch anything. A Tengu at range was soon joined by a Merlin, Rupture, Vagabond, Corax, 2 Thrashers, and a Caracal, all backed by the Scimitar, and the pew-pew started to get the better of my 2 Augoror logi-buddies. Finally, in a blaze of righteous glory, my little 10-hour box-cutter hero went down in flames as I victoriously warped my pod away.

At this point, I was late for a business thing and had to run, but I came back later to more awesome:

Hana Metesuree > OMG KILL HIM!
Jorge Ostus > wdid you do gorm???
Gormless Twatt > lost orca
Hana Metesuree > how??
Jorge Ostus > Whats happening over there?!?1
Gormless Twatt > *** *****
Hana Metesuree > Orca go pop?
Gormless Twatt > 2
Hana Metesuree > o.o
Hana Metesuree > Any reason?
Gormless Twatt > no more chat till ceo instructs to
Dragnkat > and i’m back, we still cracking rocks?
Cole Winfield > stay docked
Cole Winfield > no chat in here until told otherwise
Admiral Booty Call > HEY GUYS!
Admiral Booty Call > how we doin’?
Anima Galvan > [19:44:28] Cole Winfield > no chat in here until told otherwise

[ 2013.05.31 20:00:58 ] EVE System > Channel MOTD changed to: “DO NOT SPEAK IN CORP CHAT UNTIL TOLD OTHERWISE” by Cole Winfield.

Then, a few hours after I’d gone AFK, apparently someone in corp realized they had some half-way decent pod-scanning skills and put to use:
[ 2013.05.31 21:34:55 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Corp : Garoun Investment Bank

Still, a t1 Catalyst and an empty clone for over 1.7 bil in damages is a pretty decent trade in my book. Plus the best part about getting killed by those you ganked is that it can actually help you get into a new corp! Just link your killmail (or better, your pod killmail to not give away that you were clearly flying a murder Catalyst), slip in a sob story about how that mean greifer corp invited you in just to pod you, and watch in amazement at how quickly sympathy opens up recruiting doors.

Stay tuned, because the Box Cutter Hero already has 3 invites to new corps, and hilarity is sure to follow (if we could ever get those servers back up…).

 

-Aiden

Who Scams the Scammers?

•May 30, 2013 • 9 Comments

No one; scammers are typically much smarter than you.

Fishing is a lazy mans sport. I don’t mean that in a negative way, and I’m obviously not talking about any kind of fishing you’d see on “Deadliest Catch”. I’m talking about hanging out on a lake in the summertime, drinking a beer and dozing off while you listen to the water against the side of your boat. Ice fishing takes this a step further.

Ice fishing (at least the kind I do with my grandfather), involves drilling a hole in a frozen lake and dropping in a baited line attached to a bell; thats it. The rest of ice fishing involves sitting on comfy beach chairs, bundled up with hand-warmers in your socks and underwear, aggressively drinking bourbon, smoking cigars, and generally bullshitting until the fish effectively catch themselves and then kindly let you know about it.

I’ve recently been messing around with a sort of reverse-safarisetup, which is essentially the ice fishing of Eve.

Basically, I recruit people to my “mission running/industrial/incursion corp”, ask them where they’re based out of, and then say that we’re based on literally the other side of New Eden from wherever they say. In related news, would they like help moving stuff?

If they say yes, I usually accept their courier contract, verify the contents, and then boot them, so that they don’t spread any lies and slander amongst the other victi…..er, corpmembers. If they decline my generous offer of free shipping on all their space-ly possessions, I instead invite them to tag along on a mission, warp them to a killzone, and typically explode them with extreme prejudice. So far, business has been pretty good.

Now the other day, I had what I thought was a new fish on the line. He was eager to join, radiated that perfectly enthusiastic naivete that screams “scam me”, and even had  3 Battleships and 2 Mackinaws that needed moving; basically our ideal candidate.

All appeared to be going normally until my new friend Rang went full aggro on me:

***** > I meant where is your own home base
***** > I fly a freighter and would be happy to move stuff to our HQ for you too if needed
***** > just did it earlier today for another new guy
RANG DIPKIN > hmmm really?
RANG DIPKIN > ive got a bunch of fitten ships though they dont fit in my itty
***** > yeah…I think its best to have all corp members at least relatively close to each other
RANG DIPKIN > how much can u move?
***** > hah, a lot
RANG DIPKIN > i have like 8 ships maybe
RANG DIPKIN > like 3 bs
RANG DIPKIN > 2 macks
RANG DIPKIN > iteron v
RANG DIPKIN > couple frigs
RANG DIPKIN > for poopoo
***** > I can move up to 882,000 m3 per run

when suddenly!

RANG DIPKIN > how much is ur game subscription worth to you?
***** > ?
***** > my game subscription? Probably right around $14 a month, yours? =p
RANG DIPKIN > its against the eula to post scams in recruitment
RANG DIPKIN > i’m reporting you
RANG DIPKIN > unless you pay me
***** > I’m just trying to recruit you to my corp dude
RANG DIPKIN > yes u just tried to do the smae to at least 2 others
RANG DIPKIN > i knwo the deal man
***** > what are you talking about?
RANG DIPKIN > ur not good
RANG DIPKIN > and now ur busted
RANG DIPKIN > so u can pay 500m or im reporting u
RANG DIPKIN > its called blackmail
RANG DIPKIN > look it up
***** > for what sir?
RANG DIPKIN > u got 2 minutes
RANG DIPKIN > before i submit the petition
RANG DIPKIN > 22:48
RANG DIPKIN > 500m buddy
***** > I’m curious what you’re reporting me for
RANG DIPKIN > u got 30s
***** > until you…..?
RANG DIPKIN > dude i dont care for the isk id rather report u
RANG DIPKIN > trust me i have plenty
RANG DIPKIN > oops
*****  > well….I guess it goes without saying you’re no longer welcome to corp

 
Still unsure what caused the sudden outburst, I assumed Rang was the butthurt alt/friend of someone else who’s stuff I’d reappropriated, and was now either a.) sulking somewhere, b.) furiously writing a soon-to-be-utterly-ignored “halp I got scammed” petition, or c.) probably both a. and b. Rang, however, was not finished with me or his hilariously bad attempt at extortion and convoed me again:

RANG DIPKIN > hey man, id trransfer ur stuff now to whatever accounts arent linked
RANG DIPKIN > i have reported you
RANG DIPKIN > it clearly stated that u cannot scam in recruitment
***** > for what again?
RANG DIPKIN > dude dont play stupid
RANG DIPKIN > at this point im just trying to help u
RANG DIPKIN > u’ve already been reported
RANG DIPKIN > i blackmail scammers all the time
***** > and hows that working for you?
***** > want to know something funny?
***** > well, 2 things actually
***** > 1.) if you *already* reported me, its not blackmail. Thats called “losing your leverage”.
RANG DIPKIN > i gave u a chance
RANG DIPKIN > lol theres no if
***** > 2.) if you DIDN’T report it, and i WAS doing something bad, then NOT reporting it in exchange for isk is whats actually against the eula
***** > oh and 3.) scamming is as old as eve
RANG DIPKIN > im not asking for isk
RANG DIPKIN > not anymore
RANG DIPKIN > whats doe is done
RANG DIPKIN > ur a bad scammer
RANG DIPKIN > and now u will prob bne banned onthis accoutn and any other accounts in the corp
RANG DIPKIN > so move ur shit now if u need it
RANG DIPKIN > get a freind, let them hold on to it
RANG DIPKIN > im just letting u knwo man
RANG DIPKIN > sorry bro
RANG DIPKIN > fly safe

Somewhere, theres a highly appropriate “u mad bro” meme jpg for this moment, but I really can’t bring myself to put it on this blog.

But wait, there’s more! Rang, sufficiently failing on one character, switched to another for a slightly altered yet still terrible attempt at scamming the scammer:

 

Calamity! At the time of this mail, I had four members in my corp; my alt, my other alt, 1 dude from the Belligerent Undesirables crew, and one mark, and apparently I was in cahoots with myself to Awox myself! Et tu Aiden?!

In blog news, I apologize for going rampantly inactive on this one for the past 4 weeks; its been a crazy month. However, more fun stories, tales of woe, and an insanely long-winded guide on infiltration and social dynamics engineering are in the pipe for this week. Stick around and stay classy.

 
-Aiden