Ursa Minor Stulto

Pheonix One > motherf*cking ninjaa THIEF
Pheonix One > gonna find you
Aiden Mourn > no, youre not
Pheonix One > the hell i wont
Pheonix One > wanna bet
Aiden Mourn > not really.
Pheonix One > i HATE you
Aiden Mourn > hates a strong word. Maybe you should sleep on it
Pheonix One > I SAID I F*CKING HATE YOU
Aiden Mourn > well…..i think my work here is done
Pheonix One > piece of sh*t

This, friends, is an excerpt from an actual interaction I had a while back with particularly ill-tempered mission runner. Yes, this is someone’s actual reaction to the “theft” of digital pixels that “belonged” to them in an internet spaceship game (Editor’s Note: There will be no punches pulled with quoting on this blog. If you said, I WILL post your full character name along with the dialogue).

Pheonix One [sic] here is a prime example of what we like to refer to as, a carebear. That goes for all of you other mission-grinding, asteroid-mining, LP-hoarding chumps out there as well. Carebear. No, its not a term of endearment. And yes, we’re mocking you. Hard.

The way we see it, this whole game is an open book; a sandbox. You have free range to literally do almost anything you want in Eve, and if instead you spend your time aiming an animated laser beam at pixelated asteroid and hitting “mine” for 6 hours at a time, you may as well stick to solitaire or minesweeper because you’re missing the point.

Now one of the most defining characteristics of a carebear is his/her own supremely lorded “moral superiority”, especially when it comes to ninja salvaging. The average mission-bear feels he/she is entitled to the wrecks left behind from the npc baddies that they’ve shot and killed. I’m not talking about loot-drops here, I mean the actual physical wrecks. Now unfortunately for Yogi and Smokey, CCP rules that ship wrecks, and the salvage obtained from salvaging them, belongs to ANYONE. Which is of course why no aggression flag goes up when we salvage someone else’s npc wreck. The sad thing is, no matter how many times a CCP Dev defines and spells out salvaging rights (and friends, its a LOT of times; see “CCP on Salvaging” at right), a true carebear will STILL cry and sob and tear their own fur out at the sight of someone else *gasp!* taking “their” salvage. They rage and hurl lame and predictable insults at us which tend to have a high inclusion percentage of both gay-sex and mother references. The best ones threaten us with war decs (actually, I take that back, the best ones DO war dec us and fail miserably) or with real-life bodily harm (And watch out kids! Cause that sh*t is bannable, but more on that later) .

Below, for no other reason than to mock and humiliate other stupid, stupid bears, are some more shining example of rampant carebearishness:

Galendil > f*ck you
Galendil > theres a storm coming for you and your other ninjas
Aiden Mourn > lol, are you serious?
Galendil > absolutly
Aiden Mourn > LOL, no i mean….nevermind

and another one:

Dante589 > your harassing me, its plain and simple
Aiden Mourn > all im doing is salvaging
Aiden Mourn > im not taking anythign out of the cans
Aiden Mourn > im not shooting at you
Dante589 > your taking my salvage
Dante589 > thats my primary source of income
Dante589 > get the f*ck out

aaand another (can you see where I’m going with this?)

Volt Medrid > Why was one of your guys stealng all my sh*t then @sshole
Aiden Mourn > I’m afraid I have to inform you sir that CCP rules in favor of salvaging rights for all. Salvaging by their definition isn’t stealing. And we at SN take the rules VERY seriously.
Volt Medrid > it is with me. i see one of you @ssholes, im opening fire.
Volt Medrid > and f*ck concord. ill petition if they pop me for wiping you f*cks out
Aiden Mourn > Well I’m sure we all hope it doesn’t come to that sir, but of course we at Suddenly Ninjas would wish you the best of luck with your petition endeavor.

Anyways, you get the point. =)

o7

-Aiden

~ by Aiden Mourn on September 18, 2009.