Dear Skyrim

Dear Skyrim,

You know, I resisted you for so long; it just seemed weird, knowing how many of my friends had been with you. You were all over the headlines, with your flash and your glamor. And then of course there was Eve to think about; what sort of man would I be to just walk out on her? It tore me up inside, knowing you were out there.

And then came that fateful lonely night in December, and after one too many Lagavulin 10 yrs, I found myself looking you up on Steam, unable to help myself. You opened up to me, and I got hooked on you baby. I lied to Eve, made up excuses to my friends and family, anything to sneak off and get another fix of you. You…you completed me.

Eve, she’s a mean bitch. Sometimes I just can’t understand her anymore. She used to be so spontaneous, you know? Now it seems I give her all of my time, my money, and my love, and she spits in my face for it. There’s the deception and backstabbing, the violence, the bullshit “connection” dropouts and lagging, and I always find myself squinting to figure out what the hell she’s really trying to tell me. And then there’s her dad, Hilmar; man do I think that guy has it out for me sometimes, always trying to hook her up with Goth guys and some Nordic dude named Aurum right in front of me.

But you? Baby you’re the fantasy. With you, there’s none of that, cause with you its all new. Skyrim, you and I, we just have fun, and with you I know there’s no drama, no baggage, no other men (or women) waiting in the wings; its just you and me against the world. And dragons.

But Eve? Baby, you know she’s my rock, and as much as I love those steamy late nights of ours, fighting snow trolls and yelling fire and all, you’ve gotta know that deep down, Eve is always gonna be my woman. She might be mean, and cruel when she breaks things off mid-fight and leaves me wondering what happened, but that’s just the kind of complex creature she is. She’s the mother of my alts you know, and that kind of love goes deep.

I’m telling you this now cause I don’t want to hurt you later; I’m never going to leave Eve. I can’t, and I know that might hurt to hear, but it’s better I tell you now.

That doesn’t mean the end of you and I though baby; there’s still so much of you I want to explore! So many more times I want to climb up those 7,000 stairs to your peaks, so many many barrows of yours I want to delve into; and you know you’ve still never let me explore your Southfringe Sanctum ;). Also, I think we should include Lydia more. Just saying.

Anyways, I’ve gotta run for now; Eve’s yelling at me again, something about “low shields” or “pick up milk” or some shit. I think I can sneak away later though; meet me in Whiterun, at my place? I’ll leave the keys with that butchy blacksmith next door.





I couldn’t resist 😛 . Eve, I’m all yours.



~ by Aiden Mourn on January 24, 2012.

5 Responses to “Dear Skyrim”

  1. Filth!

  2. Awesome

  3. Best post i’ve seen in years

  4. […] there is apparently a limit to how entertained I can be by nude boobies and dragon-slaying; sorry Skyrim. So, with four years and 1 month under my belt, there’s apparently something that keeps me […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: